


Grey Clouds

by FaeMelody



Category: Waterloo Road (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Reddie, Reddie fix-it, Series 4 alternative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2020-12-24 21:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21106022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeMelody/pseuds/FaeMelody
Summary: Rachel never reconnected with her sister after leaving home at 17, so finds herself with only Eddie to turn to at the beginning of series 4...





	1. Chapter 1

Grey clouds overhead of Waterloo Road were exactly the kind of conditions Rachel thought appropriate as she stared out of her office window, watching the kids pour into school for the second week of that year. At the end of the drive, Tom and Grantley were on the gate, dissuading the few remaining reporters from bothering the kids about the events of the previous week as they entered the grounds. She felt a pang run through her at the memory- she hadn’t ever thought that Denzil was going to use the gun, but being so close to it was still unpleasant and in conjunction with her memories of the fire… well, Waterloo Road had looked less and less attractive by the minute, and in the end it was pure stubbornness that prevented her from handing in her resignation.

And then there was Eddie.

She’d barely seen him, certainly hadn’t spoken to him since she’d run away from the pub after the first day back at school (and she couldn’t kid herself- running away was exactly what she’d been doing), climbing into the taxi she’d ordered without looking back. And every time she remembered the look in his eyes, guilt swam within her.

Unconsciously, her hand rose to press her fingers over where her scar lay hidden beneath her blouse. She’d seen his expression when she’d wrenched her top to the side, and it had merely topped off what had ended up being a truly awful day. They hadn’t really gotten any better since. She’d been inundated with requests from reporters and news outlets, complaints from anxious parents- more than one child had been pulled from the school, and the candidate she’d been favouring for the new head of extended services had withdrawn his application in the aftermath.

The bell rang, and with a sigh she pulled herself away from the dreary outside and returned to her desk, quickly discarding a few written requests and phone messages from news outlets and instead beginning on the pile of consent forms that needed signing.

Before she’d managed even fifteen minutes, however, she found her thoughts drifting back to Eddie. He hadn’t really deserved her outburst, she acknowledged, which had been mostly panic driven. The benefit of hindsight, she thought bitterly. Now that she’d settled back into the school routine, she found herself marginally more relaxed, no longer verging on panic attacks throughout the day. And with that lessened anxiety came the knowledge that she hadn’t behaved entirely rationally last week- at the time, she had meant what she’d said, but had never meant to say it quite so hurtfully.

And it had hurt him, she knew, from the look on his face. She’d apparently succeeded in pushing him away as well, because the previous term he’d developed a habit of dropping by her office every morning, even if only for a few minutes, but he hadn’t shown yet this year. She felt the absence more keenly than she ever thought she would.

Realising that she had completed exactly no work for the past ten minutes, she let out a groan and dropped her head onto the desk. “Honestly,” she muttered to herself, “you’re a grown woman, not a school girl. Get a grip.”

But she couldn’t. As pathetic as it was, Eddie had been the one constant in her life since she’d come to Waterloo Road. It had been bad enough the previous term, when he’d discovered her past and been so angry with her even the rest of the staff had begun to pick up on it. But now, after everything, she thought it was even worse. It was pitiful, but Eddie was just about the only true friend she had- she’d been trying to avoid losing him, but as usual she had made everything ten times worse, she thought gloomily, resting her head in her hand. She had friends, of course, people she knew from uni and her days in the classroom, but none of them had ever managed to worm their way past her defences as Eddie had. A small, honest part of her that she would never acknowledge, let alone say aloud, admitted that she missed him.

She glanced at the clock yet again, eyes widening when she saw that first period had started- she hadn’t heard the bell. She sighed again, tapping her pen against the desk as she stared down unseeingly at the papers.

The large rock settled in her stomach seemed to grow larger, and finally she threw her pen onto her desk and shoved her chair back. But she’d barely stepped foot into the outer office when she caught sight of a boy sat there, slumped down slightly on the row of chairs with a morose look on his face. She didn’t recognise him, which was unusual enough- Waterloo Road wasn’t a large school, and the sixth form was even smaller. She quirked an eyebrow, but before she could even get the words out her assistant was answering her question. “New student. His paperwork hasn’t been finished though, we weren’t expecting him until next week.”

He shifted, ducking his head even further- she presumed in embarrassment- and sympathy washed through her. “I’m Miss Mason, the headteacher,” she introduced. “What’s your name?”

“Phillip. Phillip Ryan.”

“Year twelve,” her assistant added helpfully.

She thought for a moment. “Send him to lessons,” she decided. “The paperwork can catch up. No use sending him home now he’s here.” She kept her tone cheerful, but the sour look on his face didn’t diminish any. She couldn’t blame him, she supposed, taking the proffered timetable. “Come on- I’ll show you to your first lesson. French, lucky you.”

He didn’t say a word as he trailed after her to Miss Haydock’s classroom, where she handed him the timetable and ordered someone to show him to his next class, absently hoping the boy cheered up a bit before he alienated all of his class mates practically before he’d even started. It was odd- she didn’t remember seeing paperwork for a new year twelve student. She’d have to look up the file, she made a mental note as she carried on to the maths corridor where she found Eddie’s classroom empty of students, the man in question sat at his desk with his head bent over an exercise book. How did he have marking on the second week?

Ignoring the trembling in her fingers and the sudden difficulty she had drawing breath, she knocked quietly, biting her lip as she waited for him to look up at her. “Do you have a minute?”

He gave her a suspicious look, but nodded sharply, just once. She winced at the frosty reception, closing the door behind her and hovering by it, fingers twisting in the hem of her jacket. He didn’t give an inch, patiently waiting in complete silence and she grimaced- it was her move, but she wished more than anything that it wasn’t. “I’m sorry,” she murmured eventually. “Last week, I was… abrupt. I didn’t mean to be.”

“Abrupt is one way of putting it,” he snorted, and she cringed.

“I’m sorry,” she offered again, resisting the urge to scuff her toe on the floor like a child. He sighed, then laughed softly and her gaze snapped up to look at him, nonplussed.

“I was sitting here trying to talk myself out of coming to find you,” he confessed, “I wanted to apologise for pushing you, but was trying not to seem to desperate this early in the morning.”

Relief coursed through her, and when he offered her a sheepish grin she found herself smiling back almost without realising. “That might be our quickest apology yet,” she commented lightly, sitting on one of the desks to hide how shaky her legs were. He came to sit next to her, careful to leave a gap between them.

“Look at us, acting like grown-ups.”

They both grinned at each other, but then quickly glanced away. Rachel looked down at her hands, twisting her fingers together. Her breathing sounded too loud in the quiet room, and she cast around for something to say but it was as if every topic had vanished from her head. Next to her, she was aware of Eddie’s hands clenching and unclenching, the silence stifling. When she risked a glance upwards again, he was watching her, head tilted slightly and she flushed under his gaze, brow furrowing. “What?”

“Just wondering how someone so clever can occasionally be so bloody dense,” he said dryly. “And that’s coming from me.” Emotion flashed across her face so quickly he couldn’t recognise it, but he was fairly certain he knew what it meant regardless. “Rachel-,” he began, but she cut him off.

“Please don’t, Eddie.”

“Why?” he insisted.

“Why do you have to push it?” Annoyance entered her tone and she pushed herself off of the desk, away from him.

“Because I know you want this as much as I do!”

“Maybe I don’t!” she snapped. And immediately regretted it when an upset expression settled onto his face, albeit he attempted to hide it. Her words hung between them for a few seconds, before determination settled onto his features.

“Okay then- I’ll make you a deal,” he said quietly, rising to his own feet. “You look me in the eyes and you tell me that you haven’t been playing the other evening over in your mind for the past few days. That you didn’t spend this morning unable to concentrate because you were thinking about us, that you don’t have any feelings towards me other than friendship. You tell me all that honestly, Rachel, and I promise that I won’t mention this ever again.”

“I... I don’t...” it should have been so easy to say the words- she’d been halfway there the other evening- but all of a sudden her mind was blank and her tongue wouldn’t cooperate. As she scrambled for how to reply, the seconds ticked by and triumph settled into his face.

“See? You can’t even say the words, let alone believe them,” he accused.

“Eddie...”

He caught hold of her arms, lightly holding her in place as he searched her expression for answers. “Why won’t you let me in, Rachel?”

She shook her head, wrenching away from him and retreating backwards, hand groping for the door handle behind her. “I can’t…” her hand found it and she spun, intending to leave.

“When are you going to stop running?”

She froze. He sounded tired, and frustrated, with just a hint of a plea in his voice. And she was torn, head desperately screaming for her to run to safety while she thought her heart might just be breaking over the idea of him walking away from her.

She was still trying to decide what to do, when a hand slid over hers on the handle. Her breath caught, which was ridiculous, because it barely qualified as a touch. But that was the issue, wasn’t it? Because they touched so infrequently, so careful to maintain professional distance. At most, they playfully nudged each other with shoulders or elbows, and occasionally he would catch hold of her elbow or place a hand over her back. But almost always through clothes, and never with the undercurrent of tension that was running through the room. His hand was so warm it felt almost burning, all of her awareness centred on that contact.

Her eyes snapped up to meet his, and he almost winced at the panic in them. “Rachel, what are you so afraid of?” he whispered pleadingly.

“_You!_”

He flinched, jerking away from her and backing up, horror and hurt written on his face. Without thinking she darted forward, caught hold of his wrist. “No! No, I didn’t mean it like that,” she clarified hastily, “of course I’m not afraid of you, Eddie.”

“Then what?” he demanded. “Rachel, haven’t I proved you can trust me?”

“You’re not the issue.” She sounded defeated, dropping her hand from his arm and turning away. But he’d lost patience- he carefully grabbed her by the upper arms, spinning her to face him; she stumbled slightly, hands landing on his chest to steady herself.

“No more running!” he told her fiercely. “You think I can’t see that you want this as much as I do? It’s written all over your face!”

She didn’t respond, and it was only then that he realised just how close his actions had brought them- they were practically pressed together, and it was his turn for his breath to catch as he realised just how easy it would be to dip his head and kiss her. Something she had realised as well, he thought, judging by the flick her eyes made to his mouth and back.

Very, very slowly, he brought one hand up to brush her hair from her face just as he had the other night, cupping her head, but to his relief she didn’t pull away this time. “Please…” he whispered, “just trust me…” When she still didn’t pull away, he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers.

All the breath whooshed out of her, the knowledge that they were in his classroom and anyone could walk in suddenly not mattering nearly as much. He drew back to examine her, and she had no idea what expression was on her face but whatever it was, he kissed her again.

This time, she couldn’t stop herself from responding, forgetting everything but the feel of him against her. Her fingers were sliding through his hair, his hand dropping from her arm to anchor itself around her waist. There were no fireworks, but there didn’t need to be- there was him, the heat from his hand burning through her blouse as he clutched her closer, the feel of his lips moving against hers, driving every doubt and insecurity from her mind.

A loud slam from down the corridor jolted them both into awareness, and they both jerked back, staring at each other in shock. She stepped back from him automatically, raising her fingertips to her lips. “Don’t run,” he pleaded roughly, and guilt twisted within her that that was his first thought. He looked mussed, hair out of place and his shirt skewed as he stared at her with darkened eyes and all at once, emotion choked her, the realisation of what had just happened hitting her like a bus. She shook her head frantically, scrambling backwards.

“I’m sorry…” she spun, and this time managed to wrench the door open.

“Rachel!”

But she was already gone, and he stared at the space where she’d been only moments ago, still breathless and utterly baffled. “What the hell just happened?”


	2. Chapter 2

Three days later, Rachel was doing a marvellous job at avoiding her deputy. The few times she couldn’t avoid speaking to him, she managed to corner him in the staffroom or a crowded corridor, where he couldn’t be anything but professional… even when she avoided meeting his eyes and jumped away from his touch as if burnt. It was maddening for Eddie, especially since she seemed to have developed a sixth sense in regards to his presence and had so far managed to be absent from her office whenever he dropped by, even if that was at odd times of the day. He’d even gone as far as asking the teacher next door to watch his class for ten minutes, but she’d still managed to evade him.

He was no closer to figuring out exactly what was going on with her. Outwardly, to the rest of the school she seemed fine- she chatted with the kids in the canteen, managed the staff with her usual efficiency and had practically dragged the extended services project off of the ground. She’d thrown herself into work and he even suspected she was doing half of his as well, because he was sure his inbox had been a lot fuller the previous year. But she rarely spoke to anyone outside of school-related topics, and entire days went by when she didn’t venture into the staffroom, which unfortunately also precluded the possibility of asking a third party for help. Not that he would dare- Rachel would probably kill him if he brought someone else into her private life.

There were, however, some things she simply couldn’t avoid, which was why after school Rachel found herself hurrying to the staff room, poking her head inside and easily spotting Steph in front of her. “Am I late?”

The blonde shook her head. “Just in time!”

Rachel slid into the seat next to her, glancing guardedly around the room and spotting Eddie just in time to see him look away from her. Her stomach twisted uneasily.

But she didn’t have time to contemplate that when Davina hurried in, eyes bright. “She’s coming!” A minute later, the red head of the newly engaged science teacher entered, jumping when the shouts of ‘surprise’ and ‘congratulations’ sounded. Rachel stayed to the side of the impromptu party, a small smile fixed to her face as she quietly watched the rest of the staff and occasionally sipped from the drink Matt had thrust into her hand. Davina and Tom were casting small smiles at each other from across the room and as she continued to watch, Tom detached himself from his conversation with Grantley and crossed to her, casually dropping a kiss onto her cheek as he wrapped an arm around her waist, easily joining her conversation with Jasmine. Something inside Rachel ached, and she quickly turned away.

Only to immediately wish she hadn’t. Her gaze had landed on Eddie, who was leant against side, chatting with one of the new teachers. She was blatantly flirting with him, twirling her blonde hair and touching his arm every so often. And he was grinning back at her, laughing at whatever she was saying.

Rachel felt sick. Before she could even think about it, she placed her cup down and strode from the room, uncaring if she drew anyone’s attention. She’d never been so grateful for the empty corridors as she escaped to her office and collapsed on the sofa, groaning slightly as she buried her face in her hands.

What she didn’t realise was that her departure had indeed been noticed- most of the staff disregarded it, used by now to their head rushing around the place. But Eddie had been watching her from corner of his eye, and he had seen the look on her face before she left. He was almost certain she’d been jealous, presumably of the young geography teacher in front of him. A mixture of triumph and irritation flashed through him- if she were jealous, she felt something. But if that were the case and she felt strongly enough towards him to be jealous of a conversation, why would she not admit to it? Why did she insist on pulling away from him?

He made his excuses and slipped from the room, footsteps echoing as he strode to Rachel’s office, knowing exactly where she would have gone. By the time he’d reached it, he had grown more and more incensed with her and burst in without warning, causing Rachel to physically jump as the door bounced back against the wall before slamming shut again. She frowned at him from her spot on the sofa. “Feel better?” she questioned sarcastically.

He glowered at her, ignoring the comment. “Rachel, this is ridiculous!”

“Excuse me?”

“You think I didn’t see you run out of that room?”

She scoffed. “I didn’t run.”

He let out an actual growl, frustration written over his features. “For Gods’ sake, Rachel!”

She looked a bit taken aback, but quickly rose to her feet, mouth open ready to... argue back? Reprimand him? He didn’t give her the chance- he strode forward, caught hold of her elbows and kissed her hard.

For one long moment her brain short-circuited, and she could only gasp into the kiss, surprised but before she could even think of pulling away or kissing back- she hadn’t decided which yet- Eddie had drawn away, eyes boring into hers. “You’re infuriating,” he ground out.

“I’m infuriating? What the hell was that?” She touched her mouth for a moment, stared at him in shock.

“A test.”

She took a step backwards, mouth dropping open and eyes narrowing dangerously. “A test?”

He nodded, a glimmer of a smile crossing his face. “You didn’t slap me.”

“What?” That drew her up short; she felt like she was three steps behind him, head swimming.

“You didn’t slap me,” he repeated. “Rachel, if you really didn’t want this, I’d be up on sexual harassment charges right now. But you’re still talking to me. You were jealous of me having a conversation with a colleague!”

“I was not!” she protested, and he snorted disbelieving.

“Rachel, I don’t understand why you pretend you don’t have feelings for me! Why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

She abruptly pulled away from him. “Please leave, Eddie.”

He cocked an eyebrow at the sudden request, and snorted. “Not going to happen.”

She’d turned away, retreating behind her desk with her back to him. But he saw her knuckles turn white as she gripped the back of her chair, heard the catch of her breath and a sinking feeling hit him as a suspicion grew. “Please,” she whispered, and her voice hitched.

He stepped closer to her, reaching out to touch her arm. “Rachel...” She flinched slightly, and he gently turned her around to face him. His stomach dropped when he saw the tears on her face.

Guilt swam within him- he hadn’t meant to make her cry, had only wanted to push her into opening up to him. But this was a bit further than he’d meant to push, and he felt like he’d been punched. “Don’t cry,” he implored, reaching out to wipe the wetness from her cheeks. She closed her eyes, turning her face away to the side. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, stricken. “I didn’t mean to. I just want to understand.”

That only seemed to provoke a fresh wave of tears. But she still didn’t make a sound, and somewhere in the back of his mind he winced slightly at how she must have learnt that particular skill. “Sweetheart, please don’t cry...” Without thinking, he kissed away the tears, only realising what he’d done when he heard her breathing halt for a moment. He looked at her warily- she was staring at him with wide eyes, confusion and grief and maybe, just maybe a little bit of hope written on her face.

He had nothing left to lose, he decided, and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. When she didn’t pull away, he repeated it with the other side, one hand coming to rest on her waist. She still said nothing, but her gaze hadn’t moved from his face. “Do you trust me, Rachel?” he asked quietly. There was a brief pause, but then she gave a slow nod. “Yeah?” he checked.

Her eyes were wary. “Yes...” she agreed in a whisper. The tension he hadn’t realised he was holding eased slightly, and he swiftly kissed her cheek. “Trust me now...” he requested. He kissed her other cheek, her jaw, captured her hands to raise them up and kiss her knuckles. Her eyes had closed, he observed when he glanced upwards to check on her. He turned her hands over, kissed both her palms, her fingers. Pressed his lips to her forehead with his hand gently cupping the back of her neck, then, slowly, he slid his hand down to the neckline of her blouse, undoing the top buttons.

Her eyes flew open, hand slamming against his to stop him. “Eddie?” Her voice was high and panicked, raw sounding from her tears.

“Trust me,” he repeated quietly. Her breathing came in ragged gasps, her eyes searching his but he waited patiently, remaining still and unchanged until she reached a decision and with a deep breath, visibly steeling herself, she slowly let her hand fall away from his.

He breathed a silent sigh of relief, careful not to let her see his nerves. Cautiously, trying not to spook her, he continued to undo buttons until he could draw the material to the side and reveal the scar underneath. He felt her trembling beneath his fingers, rigid, on the verge of hyperventilating. Painstakingly gently, he lowered his head to press his lips to the top of the scar.

Instantly she shuddered, impossibly stiffening even further. “Eddie...” He didn’t stop, showering the exposed skin with kisses, and stopping himself at the line of her thin cami through sheer willpower. When he raised his head again, tears were once again shimmering on her cheeks and she was looking at him as if she’d never seen him before. He straightened, captured her lips with his and felt a thrill run through him when she leant into him, responding to the soft pressure. He broke away gently, pressing their cheeks together for a moment. “You’re beautiful, Rachel. I wish you could see yourself as I do.”

Her breaths were shaky gasps with little rhythm and he could see her trembling, but she never removed her gaze from his face. “What was that?” Her voice was so quiet he had to strain to hear and came in a tone he’d never heard from her before, and privately hoped never to hear again.

“Me trying to show you.” He brushed her hair back from her face, and her hand came up to lightly wrap around his wrist.

“You want me?” she sounded incredulous, astonished at the quiet revelation.

“Well, yeah Rach.” Exasperation leaked into his voice. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

“Even with…” she trailed off, hand coming to lay over her scar. He scowled.

“Do you really think so little of me?” he questioned, hurt lacing itself through his voice. “That a scar would change anything? It’s just a scar. Rachel, don’t you realise that I’m head over heels for you?”

This time, it was her who surged forward to kiss him. His arms wrapped around her, and if he’d thought the kiss a few days before was passionate, this one was on a whole other level. He kissed her back fiercely, desperate to put every drop of emotion he felt into it and he felt her hands slide through his hair, responding just ferociously. Somehow, they spun and he’d pushed her up against the desk, using the leverage to pin her hips with his. A small noise from the back of her throat might have just been the hottest thing he’d ever heard, and his lips left hers to trail over her jaw. Rachel inhaled sharply, tilting her head to grant him better access and his fingers threaded through her hair, revelling in the ability to just touch her.

A car door slamming from below reached their ears, and instantly calmed them both, forcing them to part as they were reminded of where they were. But neither made to move away, catching their breath as they studied each other, Eddie brushing back the hair that had fallen over her face. “This may not be the best location for this,” he commented, and she burst into semi-hysterical giggles, hiding her face in his shoulder.

“Perhaps not,” she agreed, voice muffled. He buried his nose in her hair, arms tightening slightly.

“Do you believe me, Rachel?” He asked in a murmur. She nodded.

“I do,” she turned her head so she wasn’t mumbling into his shoulder, meeting his eyes. “I think you’re batshit crazy, but I believe you.”

He snorted, dropping a kiss onto her cheek. “It’s a start I suppose,” he sighed dramatically. Her arms slid around his waist to embrace him, holding him tightly. “I’ll prove it to you, every day if you’ll let me,” he told her softly, much more seriously now. She drew back to look at him.

“Eddie…”

“I know this scares you.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek, cleaning off the remnants of her tears. “I know you’re unsure. But Rach, we know each other. I mean really know each other.”

She scoffed, swallowing back the lump in her throat. “I think you know me better than anyone,” she admitted, and he smiled slightly.

“See? This… this is real. And I’m all in, Rach.”

He held his breath, watched her face as she processed his words. And felt joy explode within him when she gave a tentative smile. “All in,” she agreed timidly, and he couldn’t stop himself from scooping her up into a tight hug.

She closed her eyes, arms sliding around him in return. She felt him press a kiss to her hair, grip never loosening, and she couldn’t help but smile faintly. “Let me take you out tonight?” he requested, pulling back only enough to see her expression. She hesitated, and his stomach dropped. Surely she wasn’t going to pull away now, after this?

“On a school night?” she queried teasingly, tilting her head and he instantly relaxed, his hands coming to rest on her hips.

“I promise to have you home before midnight, Cinderella.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” She stretched up and kissed him, and this time he felt her smile onto it. And he smiled back as well, because a few days ago he had thought this was an impossibility and here she was, nestled in his arms and showing no desire to leave.


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel and Eddie stayed in the same position, wrapped up in each other until voices from the outer office reached them. Rachel stiffened, stepping back from him and it was only then he remembered her blouse was still open, revealing the skin underneath. “Rach!” he hissed, nodding to the gaping material and she flushed, casting a panicked look at the door as her fingers scrambled to do the buttons up. Her eyes were red, and there was no way to hide that she’d been crying but at least her cheeks weren’t streaked with tears, Eddie thought grimly, retreating away to a respectable distance just as a knock sounded on the door and I appeared. “There you are!” she exclaimed, then faltered when she caught sight of Rachel. “Is everything okay? You disappeared from the party…”

“Everything’s fine,” she quickly confirmed, smiling tightly. “Just some paperwork that had to be sent off before close of day.”

Steph didn’t look convinced, glancing from one to the other. “Right…”

“Go back to the party,” she encouraged, beginning to shuffle some papers on her desk. “And take Eddie with you, he’s making the place look untidy.”

He frowned slightly at her, but she flashed him a brief smile as Steph shrugged. “Alright. Come on, Mr Lawson.”

He trailed after her, nodding to Matt who was waiting in the outer office, having apparently been dragged along as well. As soon as they were in the corridor, Steph rounded on him and pinned him with a look. “What did you do?”

“What?”

“Rachel. She was upset- what’d you do?” she insisted.

“I didn’t do anything!” he defended. “Why’s it automatically my fault?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re a man.”

“Hey!” Matt looked indignant, while Eddie just rolled his eyes.

“Lovely,” he muttered. “Look, she’s fine, okay?”

She snorted. “Yeah, that’s why she’s in her office while the rest of us party,” she said dryly. “What, is she too good to mix with us now?”

“Don’t start,” he warned.

“I’m just saying!” she said defensively. “No matter what’s going on with her, she could at least do more than show her face! I think we’ve all had enough of her personal life affecting this school to last a lifetime.”

Eddie stopped dead, looking at her furiously. “Don’t go there,” he told her lowly. “You want to know what she’s doing in her office? She’s spent the day doing everyone else’s paperwork so they could plan and attend a damn party!”

She looked taken aback, especially when he turned on his heel and stormed away. “Where are you going?” she called after him.

“I’m not in the partying mood.”

He headed back to his classroom, grabbing the pile of papers he’d shoved to one side earlier that day, and stowed them in his bag. He’d been too concerned with getting to the celebration earlier to clear the classroom, so now he quickly tidied up the room, putting a few textbooks away and picking up some paper that inevitably seemed to end up littering the floor, before he shrugged on his jacket and headed back to Rachel’s office. She was at her desk engrossed in her laptop, and barely glanced up when he walked in. “Didn’t I send you back to the staff room?” she questioned absently, fingers flying over the keyboard.

“Never made it that far.” He dropped his bag down, leaning against one of the chairs and drawing her attention away from her work.

“What happened?”

“I happened.”

She sighed. “What did she say this time?”

“Nothing important,” he dismissed evasively, and quickly switched the subject. “Are you nearly done?”

“Nearly. Why?” she looked at him suspiciously.

“You promised me a night out. I intend to hold you to that.”

She looked amused, but nodded in agreement. “Just give me a minute?” she turned back to her laptop. He knew her well enough to know that that minute would likely turn into ten, and flopped onto the sofa to wait. She was instantly absorbed again, and he could watch her without having to hide the fact that he was doing so.

It was several minutes before she became aware of his gaze on her. She waited a moment, to see if he would look away. “I can feel you watching me,” she said, without raising her head.

He grinned. “Problem?”

Now, she did look up, and marvelled at what she saw. He was usually relaxed, a trait that tended to drive her mad when she was stressed about something, but now she could practically see the lack of tension in him as he sat sprawled on the sofa, the light-hearted grin on his face one she’d never been privy to before. It hit her then, exactly how much of himself he’d been holding back and how much she probably still didn’t know about.

“Now who’s staring?” he teased, and it was only then she realised she’d been watching him without saying a word. She flushed, ducking her head.

She stared at the paperwork for a moment, before with a frown she pushed back her chair and began to pack her things away. “So where are we going?”

He blinked, a little befuddled. “You’ve finished already?”

“No. I’ll do it tomorrow.” She shrugged slightly. His mouth dropped open slightly, and he came over to her, raising his hand to her forehead.

“You don’t feel like you’ve got a temperature…” he observed. She poked him in the side, laughing slightly.

“Funny guy. You want to go or not?”

“Your chariot awaits,” he dipped an imaginary hat, grinning uncontrollably as she shouldered her bag and allowed him to guide her from the room, not even glancing at the waiting paperwork.

**W.R.**

True to his word, it was eleven fifty-five when Eddie pulled up outside of Rachel’s house, shooting her a grin. “With five minutes to spare, as promised,” he announced, and she laughed.

“Very impressive,” she promised drolly. He grinned at her, and she leant over to brush a kiss against his cheek. “Thank you for tonight.”

“My pleasure,” he smiled warmly, then tilted his head, studying her. “Are you okay?”

She nodded softly, touching his cheek. “More than. Goodnight Eddie.”

“Night Rach.”

She slipped from his car and carefully made her way across the dark driveway, but he didn’t drive off until she had her front door open and had glanced back, giving him a wave before she closed it behind her. Only then did she hear his engine start up, and she smiled, biting her lip as she slipped her shoes off.

For all her reservations, Eddie had managed a pretty perfect night. He’d driven them outside of Rochdale, for so long that she was just beginning to get concerned when he’d pulled into an old pub in the middle of almost nowhere. She’d have missed it if she had been driving, but he found the entry to car park with barely a glance, and she figured he was a regular here. The pub had been cosy and intimate, but not so quiet that they stuck out as the only ones in there. The food was simple but good, and as the evening went on Rachel found herself relaxing more and more, the hours easily slipping by. At one point, Eddie had shown her a picture on his phone and she’d slid around the booth to see, and then simply remained in that spot, almost pressed against him until they’d happened to notice how late it was and Eddie, mindful of his promise, had driven them home.

It was only when she was climbing into bed that she realised she was still smiling. On a whim, she grabbed her phone and typed out a text, not allowing herself to hesitate before she sent it. _I had fun tonight. Thank you for not giving up._

She burrowed down into her duvet, waiting anxiously for him to reply. As the minutes ticked by, she’d just about given up, assuming he hadn’t seen it before he slept, although she dreaded to think how fast he’d been driving in order to arrive home so quickly. But then her screen lit up, and she quickly swiped the message open. _I never will. I had fun too :) _

She grinned. _See you tomorrow x _

She’d closed her eyes, fully intending to actually go to sleep when her phone lit up again. _Sweet dreams :D x _

She let out a quiet laugh, settling back into her pillows as warmth spread within her. She had been so scared of this but right now, with Eddie, she felt safe, content in the knowledge that she trusted him and secretly delighting in the way he made her feel, that feeling that curled up inside her chest.

It was still there the next morning, and she found herself humming to herself as she was getting ready for work, a small smile on her face. Which only grew when her phone flashed, revealing a message from Eddie. _Good morning x._ She was turning into one of the kids, she thought with a slight mental groan, but still found herself quickly messaging the same back.

She ended up arriving at school even earlier than usual, waving to the few accompanying early birds that she passed on her way to the office, where she was unpleasantly surprised to discover messages from two different social workers that required attention, along with a stack of papers someone had apparently dropped in her inbox after she’d left last night. Coffee, she decided, was needed quickly.

When Eddie arrived at the office after practically throwing his stuff into the staffroom, it was to find her engrossed in her work, so much so that when he knocked once on the door, greeting her, she didn’t even seem to hear him. His lips twitched, and he padded across the room to touch her shoulder gently. She jumped violently, audibly gasping and Eddie chuckled. “Sorry. I did call out.”

“I didn’t hear. Hi.” She grinned up at him. He ducked his head to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth, smiling back at her.

“Hi,” he echoed, before he nodded towards her desk. “What’s so interesting?”

“Currently, the file for that new year twelve student- Phillip Ryan?”

He pondered the name for a moment. “Do I know him?”

“The one Bolton has been so annoyed at.”

He made a small sound at that. “I was wondering who he was.”

“He started on Monday, rather unexpectedly.”

He frowned. “Monday? Not last week?”

“No. And apparently, we weren’t even expecting him till next week. It’s taken until today to get his file.” She tapped the top paper, a small frown on her face. “He’s been to over a dozen different schools.”

“What? Why?” He peered over her shoulder, a frown settling over his face as possibilities raced through his mind.

“That’s just it- I have no idea,” she said in frustration. “There’s no severe behavioural issues, his academics are good, especially considering the disjointed education and his attendance when he’s in a school is high. There aren’t any notes on here about any family issues, so I have no clue why he’s moved about so much.”

Eddie pulled the paper towards him. “All different timescales too,” he observed. “Six months, ten months, seven months, eighteen months, four months… there’s no logic to it.”

She sighed in frustration. “And it’s not like we can ask him.”

“What can we do?”

She shrugged a shoulder. “I’ll flag it as a possible pastoral issue and ask his form tutor to keep an eye on him. Beyond that, I don’t think there’s much.”

He made a face. “Maybe things will be different now he’s in sixth form?” he suggested hopefully.

“Maybe.” She didn’t sound convinced, or even vaguely optimistic, which he thought was fairly understandable given the evidence in front of them. She stared at the file for a few more moments, before snapping it shut with a grimace, stowing it to one side and pulling another sheet towards her to hand to Eddie. “Do you happen to know who’s covering Lizzie today?”

“Where’s Lizzie?”

She huffed out a laugh. “I’ll take that as a no. She’s off sick.”

“Already?”

“She was out yesterday as well.” She deliberately didn’t look at him, biting her lip to stop from smirking as he processed that.

“Huh. I was more distracted than I thought,” he mused. “I can help cover her.”

“No, you can’t. You’re in with me all day.”

“Oh?” she could practically hear the smirk in his voice, and she lightly thwacked him.

“Not like that!” she scolded. “If you’d care to switch your brain on, we’re running an assembly for the year tens first period as part of GCSE prep, fourth period we’re planning the new anti-plagiarism campaign, we have a senior leadership lunch meeting and then you promised you’d help me this afternoon with the last minute bits for extended services.”

He remembered now. “That only leaves two maths teachers free, and I think they have lessons.”

“Hence my issue,” she said dryly.

“I’ll sort it,” he promised, taking the sheet from her. She raised an eyebrow. “I will!”

“I believe you.” She held her hands up with a laugh, to which he gave an exaggerated nod, jokingly sticking his nose in the air as he left, presumably to arrange the necessary cover, she hoped. She’d barely managed to pick up her pen before there was a knock on the door, and Davina poked her head in.

“Do you have a minute?”

“Of course.” Rachel smiled at her, put her pen back down and resisted the urge to sigh. It was going to be one of those days.

**W.R.**

Just over six hours later, she was stood outside as the kids practically raced out of school, thrilled for the end of the week. The new year sevens were easy to identify, she thought in amusement, watching a tiny pair trudge past in oversized blazers, both looking exhausted. The rest of the year groups were harder, unless she knew them- Sam Kelly waved as walked past, Bolton called out something indistinguishable as he dashed to catch up with Michaela. It wasn’t long before the grounds had emptied out, leaving only a handful of stragglers behind. One of which, she noted, was Phillip Ryan.

He was sat on the wall, face expressionless as he stared out towards the road. And without thinking she started towards the boy, unnoticed until she was practically alongside him. “Hi Phillip,” she greeted. “Do you like us so much you’re not going home?”

The joke barely received a reaction from him. “Waiting for my mum,” he shrugged. “She’s picking me up tonight.”

A mildly defensive tone entered his voice, but she decided to ignore it, figuring the boy was probably taking flak from Bolton and Paul. “Lucky you,” she said lightly, taking a seat next to him. “How has your first week been?”

He looked startled, fumbling for a few seconds before managing to find his voice. “It was fine.”

That wasn’t entirely true, based on what she’d heard. “How are you finding your classes?”

He shrugged. “It’s only the second week. But I think I’ll enjoy them.”

“That’s good. What are your subjects again?”

This continued for a while, with her asking about his subjects, school, his interests, eventually figuring out that he liked films and delving off into that area for a while. He relaxed as the conversation went on, opening up and she found that when he wasn’t acting the sullen teenager, he was actually quite a nice boy, if a little awkward and socially stunted.

It was getting quite late, and she was just beginning to become a little concerned about where exactly his mother was, when a car pulled up on the road and his head picked up. “That’s my mum,” he noted, picking his bag up from the floor. They both stood, and she made a concerted effort to give him a kind smile.

“Have a good weekend, Phillip.”

“Bye miss.”

He jogged away up the drive but although she headed back towards the doors, she didn’t go in, continuing to watch as he reached the car, just in case it wasn’t who he was expecting. But Phillip climbed inside without hesitation, though he was vaguely aware of her eyes on him. He murmured a greeting to his mother and wondered, absently, what Miss Mason wanted with him. He’d heard talk of how involved with the students she was- maybe she just felt sorry for the new kid?

“Phillip!”

“Sorry, what?” he looked at his mother, startled.

“I said, who was that woman?”

“Oh. Miss Mason, the headteacher.”

“Miss Mason?” she had a peculiar expression on her face, looking back to where the teacher had previously been standing. Phillip looked at her curiously, but she didn’t seem to notice. “What do you know about her?”

He glanced at her oddly. “Not much…” he said slowly, but she looked at him with an expression that made it clear that wasn’t enough. “She joined the school last year,” he told her eventually, wondering why she wanted to know. “She’s a good head. Doesn’t just sit in her office all day.”

“But what do you know about _her_?” his mother insisted.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Phil!”

“Nothing, okay! She’s my headteacher! It’s not like she chats about her personal life!” he exclaimed, mystified at why she seemed to be getting angry with him. “I don’t think she’s married? Everyone says she and Mr Lawson have a thing.”

“Mr Lawson?”

“The deputy head.” The same, strange expression remained on her face. “Mum? Why do you want to know about Miss Mason?”

“Nothing.” She seemed to shake herself, reaching out to start the car as he watched her, baffled. But she refused to say anything else and eventually, he stuck his headphones in, leaving her to her thoughts.

Later that evening, Phillip was sequestered in his room, leaving Melissa free to do some covert digging. With a single cautious glance towards the stairs, she pulled her laptop out, balancing it on the arm of the sofa and going straight to Waterloo Road’s website. When she’d been looking at sixth forms for Phillip, it had been only a few days before term was due to start- most of those in the area had already been full and refused to take him. Waterloo Road was the first that had space and did the subjects he wanted so she’d sent him there without even researching any further, which meant she’d never looked further than the homepage of the website. Now, she navigated to the ‘Welcome from the Headteacher’ section for the first time.

For a moment, she was convinced she was going insane. A change of surname was easy enough to explain with a marriage, but the small box on the left of the page read ‘Rachel Mason’, followed by a string of letters that Mel had to admit she had no clue what they meant, beyond that they were qualifications. For a few heartbeats, she was convinced she’d imagined things earlier. She’d seen the woman from a distance, the light wasn’t great, and she hadn’t seen Amanda in twenty years.

And then the picture loaded.

For a moment, Melissa just stared. The sister she remembered had had long hair, a brilliant grin and a seventeen-year-old's features; the woman on the screen stared out with a small, professional smile, her hair shorter and her face older than Melissa had ever imagined… then again, in her mind, her memories of Amanda had never grown up. This woman had.

Melissa released a shaky breath, gaze never moving from the photo. It might have been twenty years, but this was her sister. The shape of her jaw, her nose, her eyes… it was Amanda. Undeniably. She’d barely changed, she thought ruefully. She clicked to save the picture to her hard drive without really thinking about it, before turning her attention to the speech alongside. It was fairly generic- preparing for the best future of the children, dedicated staff, warm school environment. Nothing that told her about Amanda… Rachel, she corrected herself. And made a face, because that would take some getting used to. Why had she changed it?

She quickly googled the new name, frowning when a string of unrelated people showed up. When she followed with ‘Waterloo Road’, however, a string of results appeared. One of the top ones was from a newsletter released by the school the year before. She opened it, quickly scanned the article: _Pleased to welcome our new headteacher… over fifteen years teaching experience… two previous headships… governors are delighted with the posting_... Melissa closed it down, backtracking to the search. Amanda had done well for herself, she thought, with some bitterness. Then the next result caught her eye.

“Headteacher critical following school explosion…” she read in a murmur, clicking on it when she noticed the date only a few months before. And as she read the news article, she immediately felt sick.

_An explosion at Waterloo Road School in Rochdale has left multiple students and staff with injuries, on what should have been a day of celebration at the end of the school year… Headteacher Rachel Mason was rushed to hospital in a critical condition after being trapped in the resulting fire, with sources inside the hospital casting doubts on her survival. Meanwhile, at least one other staff member and several students are being treated for severe injuries caused by the smoke and flying debris, including pupils from Forest Mount School, who were attending a Spelling Bee…_

“Mum?”

She jumped, quickly closing her laptop as Phillip looked at her strangely from the doorway. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” she said quickly. “Did you need something?”

“I was going to make a cuppa, if you want one?”

“Please.” She smiled, the expression dropping as soon as he’d vanished from the doorway. She turned her gaze back to the closed laptop, and wondered what on earth she was going to do now.


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel found herself staring up at the stars, fingers absently playing with the stem of the wine glass in her hand. She had a warm blanket thrown around her shoulders, but was distantly aware that before long, it would be too cold to sit out for much longer. She wasn’t sure she cared- beside her, Eddie had his arm resting casually around her, his own glass tipping dangerously as he drifted in that odd half-asleep, half-awake state that came with total relaxation. Tomorrow morning, they would be back to school and being Miss Mason and Mr Lawson, but that seemed an eternity away as long as they were in their own little bubble in Rachel’s back garden.

Carefully, she reached out to hook her fingers around Eddie’s glass, rescuing it and setting it down along with her own. The movement roused him, and he blinked at her in mild confusion but she simply smiled, settled back down against him, closer now, resting her head against his shoulder and entwining their fingers. Eddie pressed a kiss to her hair, before resting his cheek there and they sat in contented silence.

It wasn’t long before he noticed Rachel had become heavier on his shoulder, her breathing evening out and a glance at his watch showed him it was far past the time they should both have been in bed to get up in the morning. “Rachel,” he whispered, shifting slightly in an attempt to waken her. It had almost no effect. “Sweetheart, you need to go to bed.”

She turned her face deeper into his shoulder, but beyond that he may as well have not spoken at all. He hesitated for a moment- he could wake her properly, shake her or raise his voice. Or…

He carefully pushed himself forward, sliding his other arm under her legs and lifting her. Now she stirred, head lifting slightly but he shushed her softly, securing his grip. “It’s just me. Go back to sleep.” A mix of emotions ran through him when she did exactly that, head resting against him. He carried her inside and upstairs- he’d never been up here before, but thankfully she’d left her bedroom door open so that he could see her things inside.

She was light, he noted as he moved over towards the hastily made bed. Too light. He knew she’d probably lost weight over the summer, but was she supposed to be this easy to carry? Then again, he conceded as he lay her down, he’d never carried anyone like this before so how was he supposed to know?

The new movement roused her somewhat again, the sudden lack of warmth as he straightened causing her to make a small noise of protest, eyes fluttering open. He smiled, brushing a lock of hair from her face. “It’s alright, Rach. Go back to sleep.” He covered her with the throw from the end of the bed, but before he could move away she’d clumsily caught hold of his hand.

“Stay…”

More emotions swirled through him. She was more asleep than awake, he knew, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he promised. He had no idea how to set her alarm clock for her, so settled for putting an alarm on her phone, which was happily already plugged in and sat on the bedside table. Then, it was simple enough to go back downstairs, grabbing the abandoned glasses and washing them up in the sink, locking the backdoor and finding Rachel’s keys in a small bowl. He’d never been so grateful that she was ridiculously organised, he thought in amusement, taking them and locking the front door behind him, before posting them back through the letterbox.

The next morning, he was bleary eyes as he headed up to her office without even thinking about it, laptop bag still on his shoulder. Today she looked up when he knocked once before opening the door, a brilliant smile spreading across her face when she saw him. “Good morning.”

“Hi.” She rose, kissed him with that smile still on her lips. “Your phone went off this morning then,” he grinned. “I was a bit worried about it when I left last night.”

“When _did_ you leave?” she questioned, pausing to look at him. “And when did I go upstairs?”

He bit his lip to keep from laughing. “You don’t remember?” she shook her head, looking curious. He explained what had happened, enjoying the way she immediately flushed red.

“You should have woken me!” she half scolded, avoiding meeting his eyes. He chuckled.

“I didn’t mind.”

“You would have if you’d done your back in,” she muttered, chucking a file in the pile to be shredded.

“Worth it.” He wrapped his arms around her, forcing her to stop her avoidance. “You’re adorable when you’re that sleepy.”

She gaped at him for a moment. “Adorable? Eddie, puppies and babies are adorable. Grown women are not.”

“I’d beg to differ,” he grinned, and it only grew when she rolled her eyes, muttering that he must have a head injury. He watched her for a moment, wondering whether to tell her what had happened next. But he waited too long, and she looked up to see what was wrong, spotting the odd look on his face. She tilted her head, giving him a quizzical expression.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

She frowned, and he realised that had come out a little too quick. He was frantically scrambling for an excuse, when a thought occurred to her and she looked at him uneasily. “Did something else happen last night?”

How did she do that? he wondered, reluctantly nodding. “You… asked me to stay,” he confessed. She blinked.

“Beg pardon?”

“Once I’d put you to bed… you asked me to stay,” he repeated, and she stiffened slightly, expression blanking.

“Oh.”

“Oh bad? Or oh surprised?” he asked warily.

“I’m not sure.”

He tucked her hair behind her ear. “It’s okay, Rach,” he told her softly. “I get it. You were mostly asleep, and I was nice and warm.”

He was giving her an out, she recognised, and nodded sharply. “Yeah…” she agreed weakly, and didn’t miss the disappointment that flashed across his face before he hid it away. She stepped back from him, ducking her head and trying to push away the guilty feeling she suddenly had. “Do you know if Alex is here yet?”

Alex Monroe was the new head of extended services. He hadn’t been their first choice (or even their second, Eddie admitted) but he was willing to learn and Eddie suspected he’d fit in well with the other staff, which was going to be needed. “Not sure. Want me to check?”

“That’s okay. I wanted to get him situated anyway.” She was still avoiding looking at him, fussing around with her desk. “With a bit of luck, he’ll be prepared to jump straight in. I really want to get these adult education classes established quickly.”

“I have every confidence they will be,” he said, watching her. She flashed him a smile at that. Overhead, the bell rang and he straightened, swinging his bag onto his shoulder. “I’d better go. I’ll see you later?”

She nodded, still smiling and he left, at which point the expression immediately dropped. She had to resist the urge to groan, rubbing a hand over the back of her neck and silently cursing her subconscious. Eddie had been hoping for something else, she knew, but she couldn’t give it to him. And she had no idea why.

**W.R.**

Although if anyone asked, she’d never admit it, Rachel was hiding. She was tucked around the back of the school, staring out over the field, secure in the knowledge that everyone was in lessons and she wasn’t likely to be discovered. Her fingers were tapping anxiously, playing patterns in a habit she hadn’t realised until that moment that she still had as she tried to sort through her own thoughts and feelings.

“So this is where you’ve disappeared to.”

Rachel jumped, looking around to see Steph standing over her. She hadn’t even heard her approach. A blank smile was hastily plastered on but she made no effort to stand up, deciding it would simply draw more attention to her position. “Did you need me for something?”

Steph considered her for a long moment. “Yes,” she confessed, “but it can wait.” She lowered herself down next to her, ignoring the cocked eyebrow she received. “You want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“About whatever it is that’s got you sat out here in September without even a jacket.”

Rachel looked down at herself, only realising then that she was cold. “Just lost in thought,” she dismissed, but Steph scoffed.

“Sure.” She tipped her head, studying her boss. “Look,” she began, suppressing the urge to sigh, “I know we’re not friends. But I am a pretty good listener and I’m exceptional at giving advice.”

Rachel huffed out a laugh. “And so modest.”

She spread her hands. “I prefer the term ‘self-aware’.” This received another small laugh, but then the same melancholy expression from before stole back. “Come on,” Steph encouraged. “Talk to me. What’s up?”

“And be the topic spread over the staffroom yet again by the end of lunch?”

She looked hurt. “Give me a little credit. I like gossip, sure, but I’d never betray a secret.”

Rachel sighed. She had to admit, she needed someone to talk to, hear the opinion of a third party who wasn’t emotionally invested in everything. But was that person really going to be Steph Haydock? She silently groaned. The blonde was still looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to decided and she nibbled her lip, shooting her a glance. “Promise me this stays between us?”

“Of course.”

So, Rachel told her. About the first day of term, her rejection of Eddie. Their subsequent encounters, their tentative relationship culminating in their evening, and her apparent actions at the end of it, followed by what had happened that morning. When she fell silent, Steph just looked confused.

“You have a genuinely good guy who blatantly adores you, thinks the world of you… most women would see that as the opposite of a problem.”

Rachel scrubbed her hands over her face. “I know.”

“So what’s the issue?”

“If I knew that, don’t you think I’d fix it?” she shot her a look.

“Do you… not feel the same?” Steph asked hesitantly. She instantly shook her head.

“No, I do! I just…” she searched for the words, not entirely sure what the feeling was herself. “I don’t know what it is. He makes me…”

“Vulnerable,” Steph finished. Rachel’s eyes widened slightly and she looked away, biting her lip. “Rachel.” She put her hand on her arm, drawing her attention back to her. “He loves you.”

Rachel flushed. “I don’t-,”

“And you love him,” Steph continued. “Don’t deny it, I can see it all over your face. Eddie’s one of the good ones, Rachel, he wouldn’t hurt you.”

“I know that,” she murmured. “I just can’t help but think he’s going to wake up one day and realise he could do so much better than me.”

Steph scoffed. “That’s crazy.”

“Is it?” she leant back, looked at her. “Steph, I’m sat here with a guy that even you admit is pretty perfect, and I’m still holding back for reasons even I don’t understand. What sort of sane person would stay?”

“One who tried to run into a burning building after you last year.”

“What?” her mouth dropped open, head lifting from where she’d been resting it. Steph raised an eyebrow.

“You didn’t know?”

She spluttered slightly, shook her head. “He tried to run in?”

“Once he realised you were still in there,” she nodded. “I suspected the two of you had something, but that’s when I knew. To be honest, I can’t believe you only got together last week!”

Rachel looked down at her hands. “What do I do, Steph?”

“Talk to him!” she rolled her eyes. “Relationships are bloody hard, trust me, I know. But the two of you… you could really have something. Don’t be so scared that you lose it.”

“I don’t want to,” she whispered. Steph reached out, lightly patted her hand.

“Then talk to the man!”

She nodded, giving her a weak smile. “Thanks Steph.” She shifted, tucked her legs under her and eyed the blonde. “So who won the betting pool?”

Steph started, then gave a resigned laugh because of course she knew. “Oddly enough, Tom.”

Rachel raised her eyebrows. “How much did he get?”

“I think it’s currently at ninety-five. But he has to buy a round from that.”

“Ninety-five?” Rachel questioned in shock. “Is the entire staff in on it?”

Steph nodded. “Pretty much.” She made the mistake of meeting her eyes, and they both cracked into smiles, Rachel shaking her head.

“This place…” she muttered, just as the bell went. She levered herself to her feet, pulling Steph upright before smoothing out her clothes. Back to work, she thought to herself, and promised that she would talk to Eddie when she saw him next.

That happened to be during a free he had but when she walked into the staffroom, he barely spared a glance. “Have you seen Bolton?” he asked without preamble.

She blinked slightly, surprised at the unexpected question. “No…?”

“Damn.”

And then he was gone, leaving her in the empty room. 

Odd, she thought, but figured she’d probably be told anything earth shattering. During his next period where he wasn’t in a lesson, she had a meeting so there was no chance to see him then. At lunchtime, he’d volunteered to deal with a group of year nines who thought it would be fun to try running a fight club and so instead she sought him out after school, easily finding him in his classroom. She hovered in the doorway for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Do you have a minute?”

He barely looked up at her, just shot a distracted look in her direction before he returned to what she now saw was his bag, stowing a folder into it. “Yes, but just the one I’m afraid. I’m picking Michael up, and I won’t be able to park if I don’t leave now.”

She swallowed back her words. “I’ll leave you to it then. See you tomorrow.”

“Rach!” he called her back as she turned to leave, concentrating on fitting a mug into his bag. “Was it urgent, what you wanted?”

“No. No, it can wait.”

“Alright then.” He flipped his bag closed, shouldered it. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

He dashed out without even a glance towards her, and she felt her stomach drop slightly. He’d barely looked at her properly all day, hadn’t kissed her or even smiled at her. She spun on the spot to make her way back to her office, shoving down the sick feeling in her stomach. See what you did, she scolded herself. This is what happens when you lose control of yourself.

**W.R.**

Outside of Rochdale, Melissa, much to her shame, had been hoping Phillip would choose to go out tonight instead of returning home. She’d spent the weekend with a false smile, desperately trying to hide her emotions from him, lest he work out something was wrong. But of course, when she herself arrived home from work, she was blasted with noise from the tv as soon as she’d opened the front door. She hastily plastered on the neutral expression that had fallen during her drive home, just as he appeared in the hallway, the sound shutting off. “Alright?”

“Hiya love,” she managed a tight smile.

“Dinner’s ready, if you’re hungry?”

“Let me get changed.” By the time she’d made it back downstairs, he’d plated up and had a glass of wine waiting for her. She stared at it for a moment. “Am I that obvious?”

He shrugged.

The joys of a teenager, she thought ruefully as she took the plate into the living room. They ate in relative silence, some gameshow on the tv playing mostly to itself, the volume turned only just loud enough to hear. Until suddenly, Phil spoke up.

“I asked around about Miss Mason today.”

Melissa froze for a split second. “Oh?”

He hummed, not looking at her. “Got a few odd looks for it.”

“What… what did they say?” it was an effort to sound relatively casual, and she thought she’d probably failed. Phil shrugged.

“Pretty much what I said. She’s a good headteacher. She and Mr Lawson have apparently been dancing around each other since last year, according to Aleesha.”

“Is that all?” she knew she sounded disappointed.

Phil hesitated for a moment. “She used to be a prostitute,” he offered, and she choked on the mouthful of wine she’d just taken.

“_What_?”

“Ages ago!” he assured her hastily, misinterpreting the reason for her reaction. “Before she was a teacher.”

She coughed a few times, clearing her airway before looking at him incredulously. “And this is common knowledge?”

He explained what Karla had told him, about the spelling bee and the revelation. “Apparently, no one was even sure if she was going to come back this year,” he finished, quickly taking another bite. His mother’s food sat forgotten as she processed this new information.

“How was that not all over the news?” she wondered, half to herself. He lifted a shoulder, chewing, and she continued to think it over, inhaling sharply as she remembered the article she’d read. It had mentioned students from another school, she recalled, who had been there for a spelling bee. “The explosion…” she murmured, mostly to herself. But Phillip heard, and frowned slightly.

“Huh?”

“The explosion,” she repeated, looking up at him. “That’s probably why it wasn’t in the news. Because the school exploded, and that took precedence.”

He stared at her for a moment. “If you say so.”

Amanda had been in that explosion. Which had occurred after it had been revealed Amanda had been a prostitute. Her big sister… had sold herself to men for money.

Melissa shot to her feet and made it to the bathroom just in time to bring up the little dinner she’d eaten. Behind her, she was vaguely aware of an alarmed Phillip hovering anxiously in the doorway but she waved him away, staggering to the sink and using her hands to cup water into her mouth. Amanda had been a prostitute. The words swirled around her head, over and over; she gripped the sink for support, limbs shaky. That bio she had read stated the Amanda had been a teacher for several years- she assumed it had been before then, so it must have started soon after Amanda had left, she thought. Or… before?

Another round of nausea hit her. Would she have noticed? Probably not, she had to admit. She and Amanda had been close, but as she’d hit her teenage years, she’d begun to resent her older sister’s tendency to try to look after her, and it had caused more than one argument. Melissa felt bile rise up in her throat again as she wondered what would have happened if she hadn’t been such a brat to her.

“Mum?”

She swallowed thickly, took a deep breath. “I’m fine, Phil. Go finish eating.”

“You’re not fine.”

“Phil, please.”

“No!” he snapped, and she looked up in shock. “What’s going on? How do you know Miss Mason? And don’t tell me that you don’t, I’m not stupid!”

She sighed, opened the bathroom door to look at him properly. “Please Phillip, just leave it.”

He stared at her for a long moment. “Fine. I’ll just ask her tomorrow.”

“No!” she grabbed his arm before he could turn to go. “Don’t!”

“Mum, what’s going on?” he insisted.

“Phillip, I told you to leave it!” she snapped. “Don’t you dare talk to anyone about this, okay? Not until I’ve figured out what to do.”

“What to do about what?”

“Phillip!”

He scowled, spun on his heel and stalked off. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the dramatics (he got it from her, but that didn’t make it easier) and instead stumbled into the kitchen to collapse at the table. She could pretend this had never happened, she knew. Pretend Rachel Mason was just her son’s headteacher, act like she didn’t know who she really was. But… this was her big sister. And Melissa desperately wanted some answers from her. The question was, she supposed, did she want them enough to face her?


	5. Chapter 5

The next day found Rachel striding through the corridors, head bent over an assembly timetable for the following morning as she tried to complete it in time to post it, so that no one would be surprised the next day. She had spent most of the day in her office, leaving only at break and lunch to show her face in the corridors. She had just turned a corner when she almost ran into Phillip, side-stepping at the last moment and shooting the distracted teen an amused look. “Afternoon.”

He murmured a greeting, and she’d carried on, only to hear him call out suddenly. “Miss Mason!”

She swallowed her groan, looking back inquiringly. Only now, he looked hesitant, rocking on his heels and fiddling with the strap of his bag. “Everything okay?” She tilted her head slightly, hoping he’d get on with it.

“I… can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Hypothetically,” he added, and she quirked an eyebrow, stepping closer and crossing her arms over the file.

“Okay…”

He swallowed thickly. “If… if you knew someone you cared about was hiding something important from you, and you kind of knew what the general something was but not the specific issue, and that person had asked you to leave it but you knew it was upsetting them, would you still dig into the something?”

She blinked, taking a moment to unravel and process that. “Are we talking about someone in particular?” she asked, but he merely shrugged. She sighed, considering. “Is the something going to put the person or someone else in harm’s way?”

“I don’t think so?”

“Then I would say respect the person’s wishes,” she said slowly. “If you’re worried about them, maybe let them know that. It might help. But if you care about them, don’t go behind their back. It probably won’t end well.” He nodded, still chewing his lip and not looking entirely convinced. “Is everything alright, Phillip?” she questioned kindly, a little concerned at the expression he was wearing.

“Fine,” he muttered distractedly. “Thanks, miss.”

“You’re welcome…” she watched him walk off with a small frown on her lips, wondering what in the world that had been about. Teenagers, she despaired, whirling back around towards the staffroom. Everything was always a drama.

Five minutes later, assembly sheet deposited in the appropriate place she headed back to her office, glancing at the clock. Lessons had finished a while ago and it was late enough that it was perfectly acceptable for her to leave, she realised. It was also early enough that anyone would be expecting her to still be here for a while yet… including Eddie.

She hesitated for only a few seconds. With a swallow, she gathered her things and locked her office, making her way down to the car without being seen by anyone but a few lingering students and quickly driving away, pointedly not looking back.

As her car was leaving the gates, Eddie was staring at her office door with a small frown of confusion. He didn’t think she’d ever left this early in the entire time he’d known her, not to mention that in the past week, one had usually sought out the other before they left, for a kiss goodbye if nothing else. They hadn’t seen each other all day, due to one thing or another and he’d fully been expecting to find her still at her desk.

A flicker of concern went through him, possibilities racing through his head as he turned and began the walk back to the staffroom. It was probably nothing, he comforted himself unconvincingly. She was likely just tired, or had an appointment.

Or she’s avoiding you, whispered a voice in the back of his mind, and he grimaced slightly. He suspected his expression remained unhappy, judging by the slightly dubious look Steph gave him as she came from the other direction. “You okay?”

“Fine.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “Okay then,” she muttered, wondering what had him in such a bad mood. “Rachel in her office?”

“No.”

That bought her up short. “Well, where is she?”

“Gone home.” this was called over his shoulder as he stalked away, and Steph frowned.

“Well that’s bloody helpful,” she grumbled, spinning to head to her classroom instead. If Rachel had spoken to him, she’d made things ten times worse, she thought with no small amount of exasperation.

**W.R.**

The next morning, Eddie made sure that he was early enough to work that Rachel wouldn’t have an excuse to squirm out of talking to him. He’d given her space the night before, deciding to ignore his initial inclination of immediately demanding answers in a concerted effort not to overreact, only when he arrived, it seemed that his effort was pointless- as he walked in, she’d looked up and smiled warmly upon seeing him. “Good morning.”

“Morning.” He leant down slightly, intending to press his lips to hers. But she turned her head away, back to her work- it could almost have been an accident, if he hadn’t been watching and seen her stiffen ever so slightly before. Eyes narrowing, he leant against her desk; she already looked harried, he noted. He’d been questioning if he was reading too much into the previous day, but now he thought there was rather more to it than he’d realised. “How are you?”

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “I’m fine. You ready for today?”

For a moment, he was confused. “Today?”

She looked at him in amusement. “The breakfast club? You promised you would help Alex?”

“Right.” he closed his eyes, unable to believe he’d forgotten. “Of course.”

“Are you okay?” She looked mildly concerned, and he nodded, waving her away. She ignored it. “Are you sure? Because you were supposed to do the cover sheet this morning as well, but I’ve got it here.” She motioned at the desk, and he swore under his breath.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised, “I’ll do it now.”

“No, you need to go down to the canteen, I’ll do it.”

“Sorry. I’m a bit all over the place today.”

She looked sympathetic, but she didn’t have time to make allowances for him. “Well, snap out of it. We’ve got eight staff out with the flu and the supply can’t get here for first period- I can’t afford to have you out of it as well.”

He nodded as she turned away, returning to the cover sheet. He stood and moved back a few steps, but hesitated before leaving, torn over whether to bring the previous day up or not. His pause attracted her attention, and she glanced at him inquisitively. “Was there something else?”

“Just… expected to see you last night,” he shrugged slightly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Last night?”

“I came to find you, but you’d already gone. Earlier than usual,” he explained. She dropped her gaze from his, forcing herself to keep her tone light.

“I didn’t realise- sorry. I took the paperwork home to do on the sofa instead.”

“Right.” he kept watching her, aware that she wouldn’t meet his eyes. “For the first time in the whole time you’ve been here.”

Her head snapped up, and she glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You tell me.”

She ground her teeth together, taking a deep breath. “Okay- whatever is going on with you, you need to sort it,” she told him, rising from her seat. “I don’t have time to deal with it.”

She brushed past him without another word. “Where are you going?” he called after her, annoyed.

“I have a school to run! And so do you!”

Definitely not imagining things, he thought grimly.

**W.R.**

As the day progressed, Eddie became more and more upset. He had thought they were okay, that everything was going well. And he had thought better of Rachel, than playing games. His emotions simmered inside him, threatening to bubble over more than once which resulted in some very taken aback students when he reacted rather more strongly than he should have to their usual teasing and jostling in the class. He had lost patience, and had every intention of telling Rachel as much but back-to-back lessons and a visit from a struggling year ten at breaktime meant that it wasn’t until lunch had rolled around that he could make his way back to her office, shutting the door behind him with a loud thud.

“This is getting to be a habit,” she commented in a sigh, putting her pen down. “What is it now?”

“Don’t act like this is anything to do with me,” he warned, and knew from the way her arms crossed that this was going to get ugly.

“You’ve been in an awful mood all day. What is going on?”

He looked incredulous. “Don’t turn this around on me. Rach, do you really think I haven’t realised you’re pulling away? Leaving last night, ducking away from me this morning? I’m not stupid.”

“You’re imagining things,” she dismissed.

“No, I’m not.” He strode over to her desk, spun her chair around so that she had to face him. “I thought we were past this. You promised me you were all in!”

“I am!”

He shook his head. “No, you’re not. Rachel, you’re pushing me away! I thought you trusted me.”

He reached out so cup her face, but as soon as he touched her she pushed back, standing and shaking her head. “Why, so you can just turn around and hurt me later on?” she asked spitefully, and he looked baffled.

“What are you talking about? You know I wouldn’t do that…”

“The other day! I didn’t give you the answer you wanted, and you spent the rest of the day not even deigning to look at me!” she accused. “Is that how this is going to work? I don’t give you what you want and end up punished for it?”

He spluttered. “Punished? I don’t know what you’re talking about- I was busy!”

“You think I wasn’t?”

“Rachel!” he held his hands out, stepping closer. “I swear, whatever you think happened, you’ve got it wrong.”

“Have I?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed. “Sweetheart, look at me. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I don’t know what I know anymore.”

She’d turned away from him, wrapping her arms around herself. “You know what I think?” he said suddenly. “I think you scared yourself the other night. I think you realised for the first time that this means something, that it makes you happy, that you care about me, and it scared the crap out of you. So you’ve found an excuse to push me away and make it my fault, so you don’t have to take the blame!”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I? I saw your face when I told you that you’d asked me to stay the night before- you were afraid!”

“I was not!”

“Yes, you were! Rachel, you don’t have to be alone all time.”

She scoffed, looking over her shoulder at him. “Don’t I?”

Eddie stared at her for a long moment, a sinking feeling hitting him. “Do you even want to be in this relationship?” he questioned quietly.

She jerked in surprise. “I… yes.”

He felt like he’d been punched. “You couldn’t sound more unconvinced if you tried.”

“No, Eddie, I do!”

But he was shaking his head. “You don’t get it, do you? Rachel, I want it all with you. Our whole lives, you and me, all the way. But I can’t live with always wondering if you want it too, if you’re happy or having second thoughts.” He surged to his feet, meeting her gaze head on. “You need to decide, Rachel. And when you figure out what you want, then come find me.”

He turned on his heel and walked out, leaving her stunned. “Eddie-!” she stepped after him, but he was already gone, striding through the empty corridors as quickly as he could. The air had gone from the room and she gasped as she attempted to drag a breath into her lungs, stumbling backwards to collapse onto the sofa and press the heels of her hands over her eyes to ward off her tears.


	6. Chapter 6

The following day, Rachel and Eddie hadn’t spoken.

Exhausted didn’t even begin to cover Rachel’s state- she had rushed home as soon as she had pulled herself together enough to drive and spent the evening drifting through her house, unable to concentrate enough to even cook dinner. She hadn’t slept, and if she were honest, she didn’t actually remember the drive to school that morning.

Eddie hadn’t been much better, and the only reason he hadn’t gotten blind drunk was that he didn’t have enough alcohol in his flat to do so and couldn’t be bothered to leave and buy some. As it was, he’d downed more beer than was probably wise and finished off the small amount left in a bottle of whisky he’d had laying around.

Throughout the school day, he’d avoided leaving his classroom unless absolutely necessary, and Rachel had done the same with her office, both keeping away from the other’s respective area of the school. But when fourth period rolled around, each had the same idea of going down to the canteen early in an effort to avoid seeing the other, neither realising they were doing the same thing until Eddie swung around the corner and almost crashed into her.

“Sorry!” he reached out on reflex to steady whoever he’d almost knocked over, only to have his throat close up when he recognised who it was. For her part, Rachel seemed frozen, and they stared at each other in silence, neither knowing what to say until he realised that he was still gripping her elbow, and slowly loosened his fingers.

“Rachel-,”

The clacking of hurried footsteps interrupted him, a voice calling out. “Miss Mason? There’s a Mrs Ryan here, she’s demanding to speak with you. She doesn’t have an appointment, but she’s quite insistent.” Her assistant drew level with them, lips pursed and luckily not noticing the irritation visible on the deputy’s face. Rachel frowned.

“Mrs Ryan?”

“Her son is in year twelve- Phillip Ryan.”

Rachel groaned. “She can’t be pulling him out already? It’s not even half term yet!”

Eddie hurried to catch up with her as she spun on her heel and strode to where she knew the visitor would be waiting. “If she is, do you think he knows?”

She made a face. “God, I hope so.” They entered the office, Eddie half a step behind her. “Mrs Ryan? I’m Rachel Mason, Phillip’s headtea-,” She came to a stop, choking on her words as the blonde in front of her looked up and rose to her feet, allowing her to see her face for the first time. For a moment, there was only silence.

“Hello Amanda,” Melissa greeted quietly, forcing herself not to pick at the hem of her top. Rachel’s eyes were wide, mouth parted in surprise.

“Rach?” Eddie sounded wary, his hand coming to rest on the small of her back and the touch broke her from her daze.

“Melissa?” she managed to choke out. The blonde attempted a tiny smile, shrugging slightly. Against her back, Eddie pressed down a little more firmly, questioning. “It’s okay,” she murmured, turning her head slightly to talk but never taking her eyes from the woman in front of her. “She’s… she’s my sister.”

Of all the things Eddie had been considering, that hadn’t been one of them. Behind them, he was vaguely aware of Rachel’s assistant in the doorway, eyeing the small group unsurely. “Maybe we should move this to your office?” he suggested, and Rachel slowly nodded, gaze never leaving Melissa. “After you,” he said to the blonde, gesturing to the doorway. He stayed near Rachel, hand still on her back, a little concerned her legs would give out. As it was, it seemed as if she barely avoided stumbling as she entered the office, gripping the back of one of the chairs for support.

“Phillip is your son?” she questioned, grasping for one piece of information that seemed to make sense. Melissa nodded, murmuring an affirmation.

Eddie ducked his head to discretely whisper in Rachel’s ear, his body angled to hide how his hand slid to grip her wrist, earlier argument forgotten for the time being. “I’ll be just outside.”

She shot him a grateful look as he retreated, firmly closing the door behind him while Rachel turned back to her sister. “Phillip- is he how you…?”

“Found you? Yeah,” she nodded. “I saw you when I picked him up last week. Thought I was going mad until I looked you up online.”

Rachel looked confused. “Online?”

“Your picture’s on the school website,” she explained, then smirked slightly. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

Rachel gave a small grin. “You have.”

The uncomfortable tension eased somewhat, and Melissa smiled at her. “I really missed you, ‘Manda. Rachel,” she corrected hastily, wincing.

“I’ve missed you too,” she admitted quietly, glancing downwards. “Melissa… I’m so sorry.”

The blonde gripped her bag tighter. “Why? Why did you leave? Why didn’t you come back?”

“I couldn’t,” her voice cracked slightly, and she swallowed thickly. “When I left… Mel, it had nothing to do with you.”

“We had the worst argument we’d ever had, and you were gone a week later. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that?”

Now, it was Rachel’s turn to wince. “I suppose not…” she conceded, moving to sit on the sofa. After a moment, her sister joined her, a safe distance away. “But it wasn’t the reason I didn’t come back. There were lots of reasons I left and very few were anything to do with you. That argument was just one of many things.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Melissa told her softly. “I wanted to take it back straight away. But... I…”

“You were fourteen.” Rachel laughed slightly. “And stubborn as hell. I knew that, as soon as I’d stopped being angry.”

“Really?

“Yes! Have you felt bad about it for all these years?”

“Of course!” Melissa admitted. “Haven’t you?”

“Well, yeah. But I’ve always felt bad about things. Didn’t think you would.”

She shrugged, looking at her hands. “We looked for you,” she told her softly. “When it became clear you weren’t coming back on your own. But we couldn’t find you, and the police didn’t want to know.”

“You went to the police?”

“Dad did. He’s never stopped looking, Rachel, he and mum-,”

“I’m not talking about them,” Rachel cut her off, and Melissa looked startled. “Mel, I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but I will not discuss them.”

Mel looked at her meekly. “They’ve changed.”

She scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “Is that they’ve told you?”

“Rachel, it’s been twenty years!”

“I’m aware of that, thank you. I mean it Melissa- if that’s all you’re here for then we should cut this short now.”

“No!” Melissa straightened, looking slightly panicked. “I’ll shut up about them, I promise.”

Rachel looked suspicious but nodded her acceptance. They looked at each other awkwardly. “Why did you come here?” Rachel asked suddenly.

Melissa shrugged self-consciously. “I couldn’t not. Once I knew you were here… I had to talk to you. Even if you didn’t want to see me, I had to apologise.”

“Apologise?”

“I said some awful things to you. I tried to remember exactly what the last thing I said was, and I’m pretty sure it was cruel.”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you,” Rachel said truthfully. “Melissa, we were sisters. We argued, that’s what siblings do. I never held it against you.”

“Still are sisters, I hope,” the blonde said quietly. She looked at her in shock.

“Really?”

“Yes!” Melissa exclaimed, surprised she was even questioning it. “I meant it when I said I’d missed you. I… would very much like my big sister back in my life, if you’re willing.”

She nodded, swallowed heavily as she realised she needed to tell her about her past, sooner rather than later. With a little luck, it wouldn’t hurt as much if she ran a hundred miles then. “Mel… there’s something you need to know,” she began tentatively, “about after I left, the reason I changed my name…”

“I already know,” Melissa confessed quickly, not needing to hear it again. Rachel went white, her voice strangled.

“What?”

“Phillip found out. He doesn’t know why he was asking, but… some of the other kids told him when he mentioned you.”

“You know that… that I…”

Melissa nodded. “Yeah.”

Rachel looked stunned. “You don’t… mind?”

She grimaced. “I won’t pretend that I… understand,” she admitted. “But of course I don’t _mind_. You’re my sister. Nothing you did is going to change that.” She realised Rachel was staring at her in shock. “Did you think I would?”

“Yes,” she said simply, astonished. Melissa tilted her head, looking wistful.

“Things are very different now, aren’t they?”

Rachel’s lips twisted. “Twenty years is a long time.”

“Can we do it, Rach? Can we be sisters again?”

She bit her lip. “I don’t know,” she admitted honestly. “I’d like to be.”

Melissa smiled. “So would I.”

Unfortunately, thought Rachel, saying it was the easy bit. She and Melissa moved onto simpler topics- Melissa had moved around a lot, and had a lot of stories while Rachel was more than happy to find out more about her little sister’s life. But by unspoken agreement, both carefully stayed away from more serious areas and by the time the lunch bell had rung a little while later, both had realised this would not be quite as simple as they would like.

Rachel was due at a meeting, and truthfully Melissa was grateful for the excuse. “Maybe we could do lunch one day?” she suggested hesitantly. The brunette nodded slightly.

“I’d like that.”

One mobile number swap later and Melissa was gone, leaving Rachel to collapse backwards on the sofa, covering her face with her hands as she took a shaky breath.

“Rach?”

She looked up in surprise at Eddie’s voice, automatically sitting upright. “Have you been out there the whole time?”

He shrugged. “I said I would be.”

She softened as she looked at him. “Thank you. Really.”

He came to sit next to her, noticing the strain around her eyes and the awkward way she was holding herself. “Are you alright?”

She rubbed her forehead, grimacing slightly. “Of all the things I was expecting today, that wasn’t one of them,” she murmured. He reached out, but hesitated before he touched her, unsure if it would be well received.

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” he said instead, withdrawing his hand. She didn’t notice, lost in a world of her own.

“I haven’t seen her since I left home,” she explained. “If I’m honest… I never expected to see her again.”

“It’s good though, right?”

“I think so? I hope so.” She turned her head to look at him, breath catching as her eyes met his. They stared for a long moment.

“Eddie-,” she began, but before she could continue there was a knock, and Davina appeared.

“Hi- Oh, sorry.”

“That’s okay, come on in.” Rachel smiled, quickly standing up and ushering her over to the table. “Are you all prepared?”

“I think so.”

While they were occupied, Eddie slipped from the room, trying not to think too uncharitably about Davina and her timing. Behind him, Rachel was very aware of his departure, even as she tried to concentrate on what Davina was saying. She couldn’t believe he had stayed outside the entire time she’d been talking to Melissa.

“Rachel?” Davina was looking at her, concern and expectation flashing across her features. She grimaced, shaking herself slightly.

“Sorry Davina. Could you repeat that?” Focus Rachel, she told herself sternly, and attempted to push thoughts of her deputy firmly out of her mind.

**W.R.**

As the end of the school day ticked around and the kids were streaming out of the gates, Rachel hadn’t managed to complete quite as much work as she would have liked. Every so often, her thoughts would drift back to Eddie- their argument, the defeated expression on his face, his ultimatum. If she were honest, Melissa’s appearance had thrown her and she desperately wanted to talk it over with him. And what’s more, she knew that if she sought him out, he would happily act as her sounding board.

He’d listen as she ranted, call her a worrier and say something vaguely comforting that would inexplicably make her feel better. But it wasn’t fair on him to be arguing one minute and leaning on him for support the next, she mused, flipping through the file in her hands in search of a missing page. Not to mention that he always seemed to end up dealing with her dramas.

Without warning, comprehension crashed over her and the file she was holding slipped through her fingers.

Her first instinct was to go to Eddie. No matter what was happening, if she needed someone, he was the one she went to. Heart pounding, she stared out at her office, not seeing anything as her mind raced. This morning, when Melissa had been in front of her, she remembered the way Eddie had stepped forward, hand on her back, ready to protect and support her despite the fact that they had been fighting. And then, she remembered the way he had looked yesterday, the expression he had worn, his tone of voice.

She had been so afraid of letting Eddie get too close, of getting hurt by that, that she’d never paused to realise that he already was. All of the breath whooshed out of her, her stomach turning to lead.

She spun on her heel, leaving the file where it had fallen as she rushed out of her office.


	7. Chapter 7

Eddie was sat at his desk, pen tapping as he struggled to focus on the test in front of him that he was trying to mark. But his thoughts kept drifting away, to the events of that day, to Rachel, to the future and what it might or mightn’t hold. In truth, despite his words the thought of not having Rachel in his life made him sick to his stomach, and he wasn’t sure he could continue to work as her deputy if she now chose to break things off. It would simply be too difficult, to be near her and not be with her.

He realised his thoughts had drifted once again and scowled, giving himself a shake as he returned to marking the question, forcing himself to concentrate on the spider scrawl that trailed into the margins. How many times had he told them? He scrawled in vicious red, punctuating with several exclamation marks.

“Eddie?”

He jumped at the voice from the doorway, turned to see Rachel stood looking hesitant, rocking on her heels. “Hi,” he greeted warily, heart thumping wildly in his chest as she stepped into the room, coming closer… and not stopping.

Without warning, her lips were on his. She kissed him deeply and it was on instinct that he responded, only just registering that one of her hands was cupping the back of his neck while the other gripped his desk to steady herself. He reached out to her, hands on her hips tugging her gently onto his lap, never breaking them apart.

When they eventually drew back from each other, they were both breathless, foreheads resting together. “I want you too,” Rachel whispered to him once she could talk. “All of it, everything you said.”

He drew back to study her, his hand cupping her face so that he could see her whole expression. “What brought this on?”

At the back of his neck, her fingers playing with his hair while her other hand rested on his shoulder, clenched slightly in the material. “I realised that you’re the one person in the world I go to for help. No one else, not ever. The idea of you not being here - of not being with you? That scares me more than anything else ever could.”

Absently, Eddie wondered why they always seemed to end up having these conversations at school. His fingers brushed over her hair as he searched her gaze for any sign that she was still holding back, any sign this wasn’t completely what she wanted. But she met his eyes straight on, flushing pink but resolutely not hiding from him. She brushed her thumb over his cheek, swallowing thickly as she struggled to speak louder than a soft whisper. “I love you.”

He almost swallowed his tongue. His mouth dropped open, eyes wide because he knew, he knew what it took for her to admit that, even to herself let alone to say it aloud to him but she wasn’t taking it back, attempting to undo her words but instead was giving him a tentative smile, biting her lip anxiously as she waited for him to respond. And his own grin slowly grew over his face, hands bringing her even closer as he pulled her in for another passionate kiss.

He kissed her over and over, uncaring that they were in his classroom in the middle of the afternoon, that anyone could have walked past and seen them. The only thing that mattered was his lips against hers, hands tangled in his hair while he pulled her ever closer to him, tongue flicking and teeth scraping and making sure that he poured every bit of what he felt into kissing her, that she knew exactly how he felt. “I love you too,” he murmured against her lips just in case he hadn’t made it clear, and felt her fingers tighten around his hair in response, .

It was only when they were both breathless and dizzy that either drew back, and Eddie pulled her into a tight embrace instead. She had no complaints, burying her face in the crook of his neck as his arms wound forcefully around her, almost to the point she couldn’t breathe. But she was clutching at him just as fiercely, heartbeat wildly out of control at this point. “I’m sorry,” she whispered against him. “You were right, I was scared. I still am. But I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” he promised, voice muffled by their positions. “I don’t want a miracle Rachel, just something. Something to tell me I’m not alone in this.”

“You’re not. I swear.”

She felt his fingers tighten against her as he kissed the side of her head. They weren’t completely okay, he knew, but she was here, and willing and frankly that was a lot more okay than they’d been in days.

**W.R.**

Darkness had fallen before the pair had parted, reluctantly conceding that they couldn’t remain there all night. Eddie longed to ask Rachel to his place- the words were on the tip of his tongue, but part of him was cautious about pushing too fast and too hard, scaring her away. So it was a pleasant surprise when, once he’d walked her out to the carpark, she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him, staying in his embrace once she’d dropped back onto her heels. “Will you come over to mine on Saturday? So we can talk?” she requested. He nodded his agreement, and she smiled, brilliant and relieved. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“See you in the morning.”

Friday was spent in an odd sort of limbo- both knew they needed to talk before anything else, which resulted in an odd undercurrent of tension between them all day. Eddie was almost grateful he was on detention duty at lunchtime, as otherwise he knew he would have ended up in her office which probably wouldn’t have been all that helpful to matters.

Friday evening was possibly even worse- separated by other people in the group at the pub, their interactions were limited to fleeting glances across the table. Eddie had decided to forego waiting until the morning, having every intention of offering to share a taxi home and having that conversation with her tonight (the beer may have been influencing his decision making skills the teeniest bit, he admitted), but when she was getting ready to leave, one of the biology teachers who lived closer to her than he did offered, and there was no way for him to gracefully take her place. He downed his beer to hide his frustration as they left, consigning himself to a relatively sleepless night as Tom instantly nudged another in his direction.

But finally, Saturday morning found he and Rachel walking hand in hand, smiling politely at the dog walkers and hikers that they passed on the trail they were on. At the top of a hill, a wooden bench overlooking the moors had Eddie tugging on her hand, leading her over to it and keeping their fingers linked as they sat. “I’m not complaining,” he murmured, “but why did you want to come out here?”

“This seemed like neutral ground.” She shot him a weak smile, which he attempted to return.

“Do you really think we need it?”

“Maybe.”

He grimaced. She looked back over the view, fingers of her free hand tapping against her thigh as she tried to decide where to start. She’d been playing this conversation over and over, trying to plan, to anticipate his response but all she had done was drive herself crazy, working herself up to the point where she had barely slept the night before. “I need to explain,” she said abruptly. “You, of all people, deserve to understand.”

He squeezed her hand gently. “You don’t have to, Rach. Not if you’re not ready.”

“I think I need to.”

His thumb rubbed over her knuckles as he waited patiently for her to organise her thoughts. “I can’t... I can’t explain of all it,” she began slowly, “because I still don’t understand some of it myself. But the rest...” she chewed her lip, wondering how to start. Eddie remained silent, but brought her hand up to press a kiss to the backs of her fingers. Now, she looked at him, expression softening. “Do you remember that first day back at school, in the office? When we read the note?”

He nodded, puzzlement etched across his face. “Of course.”

“And how I... reacted?”

His expression gentled and he nodded, thumb circling over the back of her hand. “Yeah...”

“The truth is, I was struggling before that,” she confessed softly. “Just... just being in school was difficult. The note brought it to the surface but it was already an underlying issue.”

He frowned. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because the headteacher having a nervous breakdown would have looked great.”

“Rach.”

His tone was gently reproachful, and the fight wilted out of her. “I couldn’t even admit it to myself,” she quietly acknowledged, “I didn't want to. Let alone tell someone else.” She sighed, brought one knee up to rest her chin on. “It was as if I was in a bubble- the world was moving too fast around me, all the noise was filtered and muffled... like being underwater. And then the bubble would pop and it would be too noisy and too bright. And the entire time I’d feel like there was a band around my chest, stopping me from breathing properly.”

He swallowed thickly, stomach churning. “How did I not see this?”

“Because I didn’t want anyone to,” she shrugged a shoulder uncomfortably. “It wasn’t your fault, darling. Even if you had noticed, I’d have denied it to the bitter end.” She gave a humourless laugh, shifting her leg back down before looking down at her hands and picking at her jeans. “I’d only got out of hospital a couple of days before.”

“What?” he exclaimed, gaping at her. “Rachel...!”

She winced, and hurried on. “When he discharged me, my doctor said he didn’t think I was physically or emotionally ready to come back to work. But the truth was... I wasn’t ready not to be at work. Having another operation, having to come back weeks into term? I wouldn’t have coped.”

“Another operation?” Eddie questioned, and it was only then she remembered he wouldn’t know.

“He wants me to have another skin graft,” she explained, fingers brushing over where her scar was. “He thinks it will help it heal.”

“Is it not? Healed?”

She made a face. “It is... or at least, as much as it can be at this point. But it would lessen its appearance, and stop it feeling...” she trailed off, unable to figure out how to express it. He brushed the back of his finger over where he knew the scar lay, frowning.

“Does it hurt?”

Her head tilted. “I’m not sure hurt it the right word...” she replied slowly. “It’s tight. It pulls if I move my arm or twist too quickly. I’m always aware of it, I can always feel that it’s there. But it’s not painful anymore, not in the way you probably mean.”

“But the graft would help?” he checked softly. She nodded. “Then why don’t you want it?”

This conversation had gotten rather off track, she thought. Then again, the whole point was to be completely honest with him, and she supposed this was part of it. “I hated being in hospital, Eddie. I hated being reliant on other people, not able to even decide when to wake up or when I wanted to go outside. And I hated being alone all the time,” she said frankly, swallowing down the sliver of embarrassment at the admittance. “I could hear the nurses whispering, about why I hadn’t had any visitors, how I didn’t have a single family member. They thought I couldn’t hear, but I could. And I detested it.”

He closed his eyes for a moment. “I talked myself out of coming,” he divulged quietly. “I was so close, multiple times. I sat with you when you were in your coma.”

She looked surprised. “Really?”

“I wasn’t supposed to be in there- family only,” he explained, looking sheepish. “But I sweet-talked one of the nurses into letting me in while the matron was on her break.”

“I didn’t know that…”

“When you’d woken up, I convinced myself that you wouldn’t want me there. So I didn’t come- now I wish I had.”

She looked down at her hands. “I’d have probably sent you away,” she admitted. “As much as I wanted company, I wouldn’t have wanted you to see me like that.”

Eddie dropped a kiss to her temple, finally letting go of her hand to wrap her in a tight embrace. “If you decide to have the graft, you won’t be alone,” he promised, and it didn’t escape her notice that he had still left the choice entirely hers, not trying to influence her in any way.

She tilted her head up, pressed a kiss to his jaw which happened to be all she could reach, before she rested her head on his shoulder. “The night in the pub… there were a hundred reasons I pushed you away but that was some of them.”

He grimaced. “My timing was horrible,” he admitted. “I shouldn’t have cornered you.”

“Your timing could have been better. But it wasn’t just you- it was mostly me. I know it probably sounds silly to you, but this scar…” she wavered, trying to find the words.

“It’s a big deal for you,” he accepted.

She inclined her head. “It is. The fact that it’s there, that it’s always going to be there. And everything it represents… the fire, Hordley, what he did. He made me nothing again. And now there’s a permanent mark on me to prove it.”

“You were never nothing,” he told her firmly, gripping her chin to force her to look at him. “Not ever.”

“But I was. And he made me it again. Stupid little Amanda who thought she was so grown up but really didn’t have a clue.” She looked away from him, unable to bear his gaze as tears burnt in her eyes. “He made me feel like that again, like I was dirty, worthless. The desperation that comes with being trapped and having absolutely no choices left. He did that to me, and this scar… that’s what it represents.”

“Not to me,” he said softly. She ducked her head to hide the tears in her eyes and he didn’t push, settling for gripping her hand tightly. “I don’t see any of that, love. I see this beautiful, exceptionally brave woman who has such a kind heart she was willing to risk her life to save the man who tried to destroy her.”

She scoffed, voice choked. “And look where it got me.” She still didn’t look at him, eyes fixed on the view in front of her, albeit she wasn’t seeing it. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to run a million miles, you know.”

He snorted. “Shut up.”

“I mean it, Eddie.”

“So do I.”

She finally looked up at him, and he took advantage of the position to press a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m not going anywhere,” he told her seriously. She shifted to look at him head on, studying his expression with a slightly awed one of her own and he couldn’t help but reach out to touch her, brushing her hair back from her face. “You’re extraordinary, Rachel.”

The sincerity in his tone had her blushing a brilliant pink. “I’m really not.”

“You are,” he contradicted. “Rachel, you’re the strongest, most courageous person I have ever met.”

She scoffed slightly, cheeks pink. “Eddie-,”

“And I know you don’t believe me,” he continued, sliding his arm around her waist to pull her closer, “but it’s the truth.”

“Silly man,” she murmured, but rested against his side anyway.

For a while, they remained like that, quietly content as they watched the world go by around them. Behind them, the few walkers who noticed them quietly passed without disturbing them, some smiling softly at the couple.

“I’ve been alone for a really long time,” Rachel said suddenly. “It’s what I’m good at. I made sure of it.”

He was silent for a long moment. “You think that letting someone else into your life makes you vulnerable-,”

“It does.”

“But it doesn’t,” he disagreed. “Loving doesn’t make you weak, sweetheart. And people aren’t always going to hurt you.”

She pressed her lips together. “Eddie… my whole life, anyone I’ve ever cared about has let me down in some way. Love-any love- has never worked out particularly well for me. So the idea of letting myself love you…”

“It frightens you.”

She nodded slowly. “There is a tiny part of me that’s convinced this is going to end badly,” she admitted. “But I’m not sure I care- even if it does, I want this. I want _you_.”

“This is _not_ going to end badly,” he told her firmly, pulling away so that he could cup her cheek. She leant into his touch, bringing her own hand up over his. “You and me, Rach, this is real. You’ll call me an idiot to snap me out of it when I’m being a prat and I’ll drag you back when you try to run. We’re good together. We make a good team.”

Rachel made a small noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “I love you.”

He grinned, knowing that he was never going to become tired of hearing that. “I love you too. And I’m always going to.”

She kissed him then, something inside her warming at the assertion. “Thank you,” she breathed against his lips, and they both knew that it was for more than just that statement.

“I think we’ve got this a bit backwards,” he joked, lightening the mood, “I’m pretty sure the emotional heart to hearts and love declarations are supposed to come a bit later than a month into a relationship.”

She rolled her eyes fondly at him. “It’s only a month by technicality though,” she pointed out. “There’s been something a lot longer than that.”

He hid his surprise that she’d admitted it, not that she could really deny it, he thought. “True,” he agreed casually, and stole another kiss. As he pulled back, their fingers entwined again and he jumped when he felt just how chilly hers were against his. “Are you cold?”

She shrugged. “A little,”

He tugged her to her feet, keeping their hands linked. “Let’s walk,” he suggested, and she happily fell into step beside him. The matter wasn’t over, she knew, but it was in the open and no longer knowing at them both. So for now, it would rest.

“Melissa called me last night,” she revealed a few minutes later.

“That’s good, right?”

She bit her lip. “I think so. It’s just… different.”

“Different how?”

“Last time I saw her she was a fourteen-year-old who bunked off school and changed boyfriends faster than clothes. And now… now she has a teenager of her own. I don’t know how to be her sister.”

He squeezed her hand gently. “So you’ll learn.”

“I hope so.” She leant into him for a moment and he took the opportunity to drop a kiss onto her head, prompting a warm smile from. “Want to go to that pub we passed? My treat,” she offered and he agreed immediately, loving the way she smiled so easily at him.


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel and Eddie had lingered over lunch, sipping drinks and indulging in dessert before they returned to Rachel’s place and curled up on the sofa, talking quietly with each other. Eddie told her about Michael and to some extent Stephen, and how he and Allison had met in the first place while she remembered stories from her childhood, the nicer ones that involved her and Melissa getting into childish scrapes or going on adventures in the local park. And somehow that merged into dinner, more drinks and when Eddie mentioned he needed to go into town the next day, he discovered Rachel needed to as well and so plans to shop together were made.

The thought did occur to Eddie that any of the kids or teachers could spot them as they walked around the shops, but Rachel seemed unbothered by it, even when a trio of year eights wandered past them at one point. Shopping ceded into an invitation to dinner, dinner became drinks and suddenly they were in the same position as they had been exactly a week before, only this time on the sofa instead of outside in the rain that had started.

When it became late enough that Eddie was starting to yawn, he made noises about going home but Rachel only snuggled in tighter against him, frowning. “Don’t you dare. Comfy.”

He bit his lip hard to keep from laughing out loud. If only the kids could see her now. He pressed a kiss to her head before resting his chin on her. “I have to. It’s late, I’m going to struggle getting up as it is.”

“Just stay here,” she mumbled, eyes still closed. “Grab a change of clothes in the morning.”

He was silent for a long minute. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he said carefully. She opened one eye, peering up at him.

“You think I’m going to freak again?”

“It had crossed my mind,” he admitted.

She reached her hand up, somewhat clumsily to brush his jaw with the backs of her fingers. “I’m not,” she assured him sleepily. “But stay in the spare room if it makes you feel better. You’re tired and it’s going to be even later by the time a taxi gets here.”

He considered her carefully- she did have a point, he conceded, in that his eyes were already closing and he wasn’t looking forward to having to wait and then still undertake the journey home. But the last thing he wanted to do was to push her too far. “If you panic tomorrow, I’m reminding you of this conversation,” he warned her lightly.

She huffed out a laugh. “Fair enough.”

He didn’t stay in the spare room, selfishly wanting to go to sleep holding her after the week that they’d had. She seemed happy enough, changing into her sleepwear and immediately curling up against him, head on his chest. “Eddie?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

He blinked down at her, squinting through the darkness. “For what?”

“Not giving up. Most people would have a long time ago.”

He tightened his grip on her for a moment. “Good thing I’m not most people,” he said softly, and felt her smile against him. “I’m crazy in love with you,” he told her.

“That’s good,” she murmured sleepily, “because I’m crazy in love with you too.”

**W.R.**

The next morning, Eddie had to admit there was some trepidation in his stomach when he woke, especially when he realised Rachel was no longer next to him. For a moment, he panicked, wondering if this had been a step too far for her. He was just about to swing himself out of bed to go and track her down, when she appeared in the bedroom doorway, two steaming mugs in her hands. She smiled tiredly when she noticed him awake. “I’m thinking that last glass was a mistake,” she commented roughly, handing him a one of the drinks.

He snorted. “I’m not sure it was the last _glass_ that was the issue.”

She hummed an amused agreement, leaving him where he was as she disappeared into the bathroom. It took several minutes before he could muster up the energy to climb out of bed, locating where he’d shucked his clothes the night before and dragging them on between gulps of coffee. By the time he was dressed and had found his keys, Rachel had reappeared, hair up in a towel but otherwise dressed. He gaped slightly. “How’d you do that?”

“What?”

“Get showered and dressed so quickly?”

Her eyes narrowed. “If that’s a comment about men and women, I’m not kissing you for a week.”

He snorted in laughter. “It’s not,” he assured her. “I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you at school?” he crossed over to her, dropping a kiss to the corner of her mouth and hurrying downstairs.

By the time he’d arrived home, jumped in the shower and changed his clothes, practically charging back out to his car to drive to school, Rachel had managed to arrive perfectly unruffled, making her way to her office and enjoying the rare peace that the morning brought. It wouldn’t last long- barely another ten minutes, by her estimation, she thought in amusement as she glanced at the clock. She’d just settled onto the sofa with her notes for the assembly that morning when a knock sounded, and Steph poked her head in.

“Good, you’re here.”

Rachel quirked an eyebrow. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

She scoffed, waving a hand in the air as she entered, closing the door behind her. “Don’t be silly. I just wanted to see how things went with Eddie.” she looked at her boss just in time to see her expression close down, and sighed. “You don’t have to tell me. But after last week…” she trailed off pointedly, and Rachel grimaced slightly.

“We talked,” she conceded. Steph grinned.

“Yeah?”

“I mean, we argued first,” she amended. “But then we talked.”

“And…?”

Rachel let out a small laugh. “Steph, I am very grateful for your help, but that is all you’re getting out of me. I’m not in the habit of discussing my personal life with my co-workers.”

She looked sly. “So there’s something to discuss then?”

In a case of truly terrible timing, Eddie chose that moment to enter without bothering to knock, coming up short when he spotted Steph. “Ra- oh, sorry Steph.”

Her smirk was positively gleeful. “Morning. Good weekend?”

“Ah… not bad, thanks,” he glanced warily between her and Rachel, who was shaking her head with an amused smile at the woman. “Why do I feel like I’m missing something here?”

“Get up to anything special?” the blonde asked innocently.

“Steph!” Rachel groaned, she pouted.

“Well, you won’t tell me anything!”

“I think I’ve told you plenty,” she said dryly, but Steph just waved her hand and blew out her breath.

“That doesn’t count!”

“Steph, if you don’t mind, I actually do need to talk to Rachel,” Eddie interrupted, waving a pile of papers in his hand. She glanced between them with narrow eyes, before sighing and conceding defeat, closing the door behind her. Rachel laughed slightly, shaking her head.

“It’s almost more fun to leave her hanging,” she commented thoughtfully, crossing to kiss him softly.

He tilted his head. “Is that what we’re going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

He shrugged self-consciously, shuffling on the spot. “We never talked about if we were going to tell people.” He avoided her eyes.

“Eddie.” Gentle fingers on his jaw drew his face around to look at her. “I’d shout it from the rooftops if that’s what you wanted,” she told him softly. Then smiled slightly. “Though I’m hoping you don’t because that’s frankly a little embarrassing.”

He snorted in laughter, tension melting away from him. “You don’t want to keep it hidden?”

“No! I’m not ashamed to be with you, darling- I don’t like drawing attention to my personal life, but if you want me to tell the staff outright I will.”

He shook his head, wrapping his arms around her. “Let them figure it out. You were right- much more fun that way.”

She beamed and was millimetres away from pressing their lips together again when the bell rang, and she dropped back down to her heels instead. “And here we go again,” she said cheerfully, enjoying the chuckle that received as Eddie hastened to registration, leaving her alone in the office.

If she were honest, Rachel wasn’t really expecting the staff to be in the dark for longer than a couple of days- if nothing else, she was positive that Steph would slip up and say something. But they’d made it all the way to Friday night later that week without anyone realising; she’d gone to the bathroom and when she returned, she overheard Tom teasing Eddie about needing a girlfriend. She was about to retake her seat, ignoring the comment when her arm was grabbed and she was yanked backwards. “What-?”

Steph shushed her, still clutching tightly at her arm. “Listen!”

“Shove off,” Eddie was laughing at Tom, drinking from his beer as he waved a hand in the man’s direction.

“I’m serious,” Tom insisted. “You’ve been single for as long as I’ve known you. You need to put yourself out there.”

“I really don’t,” he replied dryly.

“Tom, you’re being thick.” That was Davina’s voice, laughter colouring her tone. “He’s saying he’s already got someone.”

“What? Since when?”

Rachel was sure Eddie was crimson by this point. “About a month now.” She heard him admit.

Steph smirked, looking sideways at her. “I knew it!” she hissed triumphantly. Davina made a small ‘aw’ sound.

“What’s she like?”

There was a moment of silence. “I don’t want to listen to this,” Rachel whispered, attempting to tug free of Steph’s grip but her hand only tightened.

“Shh!”

“Incredible.” Eddie voice drifted to them. “She’s the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met.”

Rachel bit her lip, knowing she was beginning to blush as Steph grinned wildly at her. “Oh, shush,” she muttered at her. Now, she succeeded in pulling free, none-too-gently propelling Steph back to the table. The blonde practically bounced into her seat, drawing a couple of odd glances which left Rachel free to settle into hers unnoticed.

“Rachel, do you know?” Tom asked suddenly, and she blinked in surprise.

“Know what?”

“Who Eddie’s new girl is?”

She quirked an eyebrow. “’New girl’?” she quoted incredulously. “You sound like a bad American movie.”

Davina let out a peal of laughter. “That’s what I said!”

“New girl,” Grantley grumbled under his breath. “The whole world’s-,”

“Hush you!” Steph pointed at him, jabbing a little too ferociously. “We’re all in too good a mood to listen!”

And just like that, the conversation carried on, and the topic of Eddie’s girlfriend was forgotten. He looked amused, quirking his eyebrow at Rachel across the table while she pressed her lips together, sipping from her glass to hide her giggles.

It was about half an hour later when she grew tired of Steph growing more and more raucous as she drank, while Davina was practically on Tom’s lap. She grabbed her jacket, standing upright. “Alright, I’m out. See you all Monday.”

“Already? The night is young!” Tom protested.

She laughed. “It’s really not.”

“I’ll walk you out,” volunteered Eddie, quickly grabbing his own jacket. “I should go as well- I’ve got Michael tomorrow.”

Steph cackled, earning her a few curious looks but she mostly went unnoticed as a round of goodbyes went up as their head and deputy exited. “Rachel had a point,” Davina noted, squinting at her phone. “It’s late.”

Steph waved a hand in the air. “It’s Friday! Another round!”

They had another two, by which point they were all well and truly drunk, though Grantley seemed to just get grumpier. They were also the only ones left- the rest of the staff had trickled out over the evening. Steph was up dancing, Davina laughing helplessly at her while Tom just shook his head. “I think we’ve all had enough,” he muttered in amusement. “Come on Grantley, look lively- we’ll share a taxi.”

He groaned but shrugged his jacket on, while Tom corralled a complaining Steph into hers. “I want to dance!”

Davina was shaking with mirth, but still managed to flag down a taxi while Tom practically hauled the older blonde out of the pub, Grantly trailing behind, tipping her into the car and managing to land her on a seat through pure luck. Davina snuggled in next to him once he’d climbed in, head on his shoulder as the headlights passed them by. Which was why, when stuck at a red light, he noticed when she suddenly straightened, peering out the window. “Am I mad, or is that Rachel and Eddie?”

The other three all turned to follow her gaze. Sure enough, the pair were there, illuminated by a streetlight as they walked down the street. Eddie was half walking backwards, gesturing wildly as he said something and as they watched he stumbled, almost tripping and was stopped only by Rachel darting forward and grabbing him, laughing wildly at him as she did so. In an almost smooth motion, she slid an arm around his waist and was instantly tucked against his side, his arm draped around her as he dropped a kiss onto her forehead before continuing to speak, the pair never stopping in their journey down the road.

There was silence in the car. “To be honest, we should have seen that coming,” Davina commented eventually as the light changed and they moved on. Steph threw her arms up in the air.

“Finally!”

“You knew?”

“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to keep that secret?” she demanded.

Tom looked sceptical. “You’ve knew that and didn’t say anything? I don’t believe it…”

She looked sullen, crossing her arms. “I promised Rachel I wouldn’t. I’m a woman of my word. But now you know, and I’m free!” she brightened abruptly. Davina and Tom exchanged an amused glance, fingers interlinking as Steph carried on next to them.

**W.R.**

On Monday morning, Rachel was slotting papers into everyone’s inboxes when Tom and Davina entered, both pausing when they saw her. “Morning,” she glanced at them with a smirk. “Your heads recovered yet?”

Davina let out a small groan. “I’m never drinking again.”

“I’ll be genuinely shocked if Steph is functioning,” Tom laughed, dumping his coat over a chair. “She was gone by the end of the night.”

“It’s Steph, it’ll be as if it never happened,” Davina disagreed.

Rachel laughed. “What exactly did she do after we left?”

“Shots,” she deadpanned, and Rachel stifled a snort of laughter. The couple glanced at each other, wondering whether to say anything before Steph got there and let the cat out of the bag. Their boss looked at them suspiciously.

“What?”

A silent argument furiously followed, which Tom lost. “On our way home… we saw you. And Eddie.”

“Oh. Is that all?” she looked relieved. “The looks on your faces, I thought you were about to tell me something awful.”

“Morning all!” Steph swung in, and smirked when she saw Rachel. “Good weekend?”

“We’re not doing this again,” she laughed, shaking her head slightly at the imitation of the previous week. “You’ll have to make do with your imagination. See you all later.”

She’d barely made it down the corridor when she ran into Eddie- literally. He looked bleary eyed as he juggled a pile of marking and his laptop bag. “Morning.”

“Morning.” She took the bag from him, receiving a grateful look as he steadied the books. “Tom and Davina know about us.”

“Oh?” he cast her a cautious glance. “How?” She explained as they walked towards his classroom, and he looked amused. “And we thought it would be Steph who spilled the beans.”

“Give it till break until the entirety of the staff know?” she bet.

“No deal,” he chuckled. “Between those two and Steph, I’ll be amazed if they don’t know by the end of registration.”

They reached his classroom, depositing their loads onto his desk and almost instantly she was in his arms, lips pressed to his. “I know what you’re thinking,” she murmured once they’d parted, and he quirked an eyebrow at her. “You think I’m going to get myself into a panic over everyone knowing.”

He looked uncomfortable. “Rach…”

“It’s okay.” Her fingers traced over his jaw, head tilting. “I understand. I’d probably think the same if the positions were reversed.”

He pressed a kiss to her fingertips. “_Are_ you okay?” he asked, deciding there was no point in dancing around the subject.

She smiled faintly. “More than.” She stood on tiptoes to drop a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, wiping the remnants of her lipstick away after. “Promise.”

Her promise held as surely enough, by the time lunchtime had come around everyone on staff knew, casting amused smirks at both of them across the table in the canteen. For the most part Rachel pretended she didn’t see them, embarrassed to know so many people were gossiping about them while Eddie met the looks head on with a raised eyebrow, which usually caused the other party to hurriedly look away. Steph- predictably- was the only one brave enough to outwardly comment, but Eddie was quick to shut her down when she came too close to the line.

That night found the pair curled up in Rachel’s living room, Eddie absently running his fingers through her hair as they watched television, her head in his lap. At one point, his fingers trailed beyond the end of her hair, brushing against the skin of her side that had been exposed when she wriggled into her current position. She squirmed away, huffing out a laugh and he paused, looking at her. “Are you ticklish?”

She looked at him warily. “No…?”

He dug his fingers into her side, and she shrieked. He grinned triumphantly. “You are!”

“Eddie- no!” her protest turned into a squeal as both hands descended on her, the programme they’d been watching forgotten. She laughed helplessly, batting ineffectively at his hands and tossing back and forth in an effort to escape. “Eddie!” she tried to sit up, but only succeeded for a moment before another attack by his fingers had her throwing herself backwards with another squeal. He followed, mischief etched into onto his expression as he made the usually composed woman lose control. She writhed against him, hands pushing until all of a sudden, the laughter on her face died without warning.

He froze, wondering what was wrong. But before he could ask, her eyes had flicked down to his lips and he realised for the first time the position they’d ended up in, bodies pressed together with his weight on top of her. He levered himself up, intended to sit back on his heels but her hand caught the back of his neck, keeping him where he was. “Rach?”

“This is fine,” she assured him in a whisper. Hope sparked inside him. He searched her gaze for any sign that it wasn’t and when he found her expression clear, allowed her to tug him down into a smiling kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

Rachel was stood at the back of the hall, a small smile on her face as she watched the hustle and bustle in front of her. It was the week before half-term now, and Alex had organised an open day where the kids could showcase their work, the new year sevens were taking great delight in showing their parents around the school and there were performances from the drama and dance students throughout the day. Volunteers were giving tours to prospective parents and students, and Rachel herself had talked herself hoarse over the course of the day, which was why she was now hiding at the back while gulping from a bottle of water. In a classroom down the hall, Eddie was attempting to jazz up maths while Steph had been given strict instructions to avoid saying anything outrageous... or saying anything unnecessary at all, for that matter.

“Miss Mason, Miss Mason!”

“Aleesha?”

The girl skidded to a stop in front of her, panting slightly. “Janeece and Michaela are getting into it out in the corridor!”

She sighed. “Show me,” she told her urgently, pushing herself upright and rushing out the hall after her.

She spotted the girls straight away, and thankfully although they were yelling and squaring up to each other, they hadn’t actually begun to fight yet. “Janeece! Michaela!” she barked out, neatly sliding herself between them. “That’s enough!”

They fell silent but continued to glower at each other around her. “I said enough!” she snapped, tense as she half-waited for the girls to jump at each other. “You, that way and you, that way. Don’t make me send you to the cooler!” A couple of more seconds, and the pair grudgingly went in the directions they’d been told. Careful not to let anyone see, she slowly let out a relieved breath. “Alright you lot- as you were,” she told the watching bystanders, sticking around as they dispersed just in case.

From behind her, a sudden voice had her spinning on the spot. “You’re scary as Miss Mason.”

“Melissa!” Surprise coloured her tone as she caught sight of the blonde, who grinned at her.

"Hi."

"Hi. What are you doing here?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Phillip."

Rachel felt like face palming. Why else would she be here? "Of course. He's a sweet boy. He’s doing well here."

“I’m glad.” Melissa studied her, frowning slightly. “You look tired.”

She laughed slightly, turning to walk back into the hall. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Melissa blushed, but fell into step beside her and linked their arms. Rachel started, glancing at her sideways in surprise but allowed it.

“Have you told Phillip yet?” she asked instead.

Her sister looked troubled. “No. He’s not very happy with me for not telling him what was going on in the first place, so he’s been avoiding me. I haven’t had the chance.

“He’ll come around,” Rachel comforted her. They entered the hall, where she was surprised to see Eddie coming towards her, and so didn’t notice the odd look Matt was giving her from over in the corner when he saw his boss with her arm linked with a mystery blonde. Rachel shot her deputy a concerned look. “Aren’t you supposed to be with Lizzie?”

“We were quiet, so I came out for a spell. Hi Melissa.”

“Hi.”

“Could you do me a favour and keep an eye out for Janeece and Michaela?” Rachel asked him. He shot her a puzzled look, and she quickly explained what had happened. Understanding flashed across his face.

“’Course.”

Rachel smiled at him, was about to say something else when a figure standing stock still not far from them caught her eye- Phillip was staring at her and Melissa, a frown on his face as he eyed their linked arms. She winced internally, nudging Mel and nodding to Phillip. “I think that’s my cue,” the blonde gave a forced laugh, glancing at her. “Are you free on Saturday?”

“Yes?”

“Coffee? My treat?”

She hesitated for a brief moment, before nodding. “I’d like that.”

“I’ll text you for details.” The blonde squeezed her hand, smiling a little too widely before going to join her son, who immediately began whispering furiously to her as she ushered him out of the hall. Rachel grimaced.

“What was that about?” Eddie wondered.

“Phillip doesn’t know who I am yet. I’m guessing he’s about to find out.”

He laughed slightly. “Finding out his headteacher’s his aunt. Every boy’s dream.”

She thwacked him lightly on the arm. “Not helpful,” she hissed, just as a pained-looking Danielle led a family towards them. She quickly plastered on a smile. “Hi Danielle. How’s it going?”

“They want to know more about extended services, Miss.”

Rachel greeted the family, immediately launching into a spiel and never realising that Eddie had eased away, standing at enough distance that he wouldn’t be noticed watching her. No one could have believed that eight weeks ago, she’d still been in hospital recovering and that it was less than six weeks ago that she’d still been having panic attacks at being here in school. Now, he watched as she spoke confidently, passion colouring her tone as she explained the benefits of adult learning, eyes bright and head held high. He hadn’t seen this in far too long, since before Stuart Hordley had turned up the previous year and he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

He saw her say something while gesturing to Danielle, who immediately brightened, beaming at her before nodding vigorously. Rachel shot her a grin and didn’t even break stride, carefully manoeuvring the family over to a nearby table, pointing at the board and continuing to sell the school, never realising that the simple comment had transformed her pupil who now stood straighter, more engaged. She really had no idea of the effect she had on the kids, Eddie mused.

“You haven’t taken your eyes off of her for over ten minutes now.” Tom sounded amused as he came up beside him, shoving his hands in his pockets as he leant against the wall. Eddie shrugged.

“Shouldn’t you be in your classroom?”

“Shouldn’t you?” he countered. Eddie huffed a laugh, still watching Rachel and Tom shook his head in exasperation.

“Someone is going to notice you staring sooner or later.”

He shrugged. “Let them. It’s not like they don’t know.”

“The parents don’t,” he reminded him. “Plus, when she realises you’re watching it’ll put her off.”

He had a point there, Eddie admitted. Reluctantly, he straightened and left the hall with the English teacher, wandering back to where the maths department had set up for the day and forcing a polite smile onto his face when he found the room much busier than he’d left it, half-wishing the entire time that he was still back watching Rachel.

**W.R.**

It was a still tired headmistress who found herself in a café in town on Saturday, searching the room for Melissa. Anxiety was twisting within her- this might be her third time of seeing her sister, but that didn’t make it the slightest bit easier. Thankfully, she didn’t have to sit and worry; Melissa waved at her from near the back, smiling as she approached. “I got you a tea.”

“Thank you.”

Neither was unaware of the awkwardness between them as Rachel took a seat. “How did the open day go?” Melissa asked, trying to ignore it. “Phillip seemed to enjoy it.”

“It went well,” she immediately brightened. “The kids have reacted really well to having their parents come in and see what they’re doing, and it generated a lot of interest for extended services. There was an uptake of prospective parents for next year’s intake too.”

Melissa had to hide her smile, afraid it would be taken the wrong way. Like this, it was easy to see how passionate Rachel was about her job and the school; her whole face lit up when she was talking about it. “Will you be having another one?”

Rachel took a drink. “Not anytime soon. Although Alex- our head of extended services- is tossing around the idea of having one in summer and combining it with a sort of summer fair slash leaving celebration for the elevens and thirteens.”

“Well, I don’t know anything about running a school but that sounds good.” She offered. Rachel smiled weakly, murmuring a thanks and wishing this wasn’t so difficult while Melissa took a sip from her coffee, eyeing her slyly. “Speaking of school... what’s the story with you and your deputy? I know I didn’t imagine the way you looked at him.”

Rachel flushed. “Eddie,” she supplied self-consciously. “We’re... together.”

Melissa raised an eyebrow, surprised. She’d assumed Rachel liked him, but hadn’t thought they would be in a relationship. “And he knows about your past?”

Her tone was mild, but Rachel heard the undertone to it and froze for a second, before slowly placing her cup back on the table. “The whole school knows, Mel,” she pointed out carefully. “But he knew before anyone.” She was watching her sister’s face as she spoke, and so saw the slight disbelieving expression that crossed it that she might otherwise have missed.

“And he doesn’t mind?”

The sinking feeling her stomach made it hard to even breathe. “No.” This time, the expression on her sister’s face was more overt. Rachel felt slightly sick.

“Impressive,” Melissa murmured, and Rachel didn’t think she was supposed to hear her.

“He is,” she agreed, and the blonde looked surprised. “But it took him several weeks and a lot of explanations to get to that point. Just as I suspect it will take you some time.”

Melissa jerked. “Wha-?”

“I’m not stupid, Mel. I can see it written all over you,” Rachel said gently. “You might not hate me for what I was, but you haven’t accepted it.”

“Rachel-,”

“It’s okay,” she interrupted, and smiled softly. “I understand. But you have to deal with this now, Melissa, or it will simply implode later down the line and hurt both of us so much more.”

“I have accepted it, Rachel!”

She shook her head, grabbing her bag from the floor. “No, you haven’t. Or you wouldn’t have made those comments, or had that expression,” she refuted. “It really is okay, Mel. I hadn’t really expected you to, which is why I was so surprised when you said you had, back in my office.”

Melissa looked vaguely desperate. “You’re my sister!”

“Yes,” she agreed instantly. “I’m always going to be. And if you have questions, I’ll try to answer them. But until you’ve come to terms, Mel, we can’t do this- you must know it as well as I do.” She grabbed her hand across the table, smiled at her. “I did mean what I said- I would very much like to be sisters again properly. But that can’t happen until you’re ready. And when you are, I’ll be waiting.”

“Rach-,”

“Goodbye, Mel,” she said firmly, releasing her hand and standing up. “I do love you.”

The blonde sagged slightly, halting her attempts to argue and simply gave a nod. With a thick swallow, Rachel walked away from her, out of the café and managed to resist glancing back- she couldn’t quite stop herself from looking through the window, however, and when she did it was to see Melissa slumped with her head in her hand, looking as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

She knew how she felt. Despite her words, Rachel found herself rapidly swallowing the lump in her throat, blinking back the tears that threatened. The one person she wanted to talk to was Eddie- he wasn’t with Michael today, she knew, she wouldn’t be interrupting that time if she called. But even as her heart was urging her to make the call, her head told her no.

She drew to a stop and for a long moment, she was motionless on the street, staring at the phone in her hand with her thumb hovering over the call button. She had almost talked herself out of it, when Eddie’s words about letting him in came back to her.

She hit the button before she could change her mind, realising where she was and drawing to the side as it rang twice, and was then quickly picked up. She was too upset to realise the implications of that- Eddie had been sat with his phone by his side, just in case and when it rang he jolted, immediately grabbing it. “Rach?”

“Hi,” she swallowed thickly, knowing her tears were audible in her voice. “Are you busy?”

“Not in the slightest. Are you still in town?”

“Yeah.” She lowered herself to a nearby bench, head ducking as her eyes closed. “I just… needed to hear your voice.”

“I’ll come and get you,” he offered, already grabbing his keys. “Where are you exactly?

“You don’t have to-,”

“Rach,” he cut her off, locking his front door with one hand. “Where are you?”

She pressed her hand to her mouth for a moment, holding back a sob. “That park at the end of the high street,” she managed. He was already climbing into his car.

“Do you need me to stay on the phone?”

“No.” she attempted to smile, despite knowing he couldn’t see her. “No, I’m alright.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

He drove too fast, sliding through a few orange traffic lights and overtaking when he probably shouldn’t have. But it meant he was in town in record time, sliding neatly into a space up the street from where he hoped Rachel still was and hurrying in the direction of the park, stopping just short of jogging.

He spotted her instantly, sat on a bench with her head bowed, fingers clenched around the material of her jacket. Now, he did jog, crossing the road and calling out as he approached her. When she looked up, he could see that she was fighting back tears, and probably had been for some time.

He didn’t say a word as he gently pulled her to her feet and engulfed her in his arms. For a moment, she was stiff, refusing to cede to the comfort but then something within her broke and she fell against him, clutching at his coat as she buried her face in his shoulder. She shuddered once, and then fell still, not moving from her position against him. One of his hands ran up and down her back, his lips pressed against her hair as he held her tightly, allowing her to decide when to pull away.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, on the other side of the road Melissa was stood stock still, watching them. She’d sat in the café for a while, finishing her tea while she pulled herself together. She hadn’t been expecting to see her sister and her boyfriend (was that the right word? she wondered. She couldn’t imagine Rachel ever referring to Eddie as such… but she couldn’t think of a better one.), especially not locked in such an embrace. If she were honest with herself, some not so kind thoughts had gone through her head when she’d discovered they were together, including some regarding exactly what Eddie was getting out of the relationship. But now, seeing them together… they loved each other, she realised for the first time. She didn’t get it. How he could love her after what she’d done... but then, she loved her, didn’t she? Or at least, she’d loved Amanda and it was the same thing.

She had to resist the urge to rub at her forehead. Rachel had been right, she was beginning to realise- she needed time to figure out her own head. In front of her, the pair were still in the same position. She gave them one last look, before she turned and walked in the opposite direction.

Rachel stayed with her face hidden against Eddie until she was sure she was no longer on the verge of tears, and then stayed a little longer as she soaked in the comfort he offered. When she finally drew back slightly, he kept his arm around her waist, his other hand coming up brush the hair from her eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She hesitated, but quickly realised that she actually did. They sat on the bench and she told him everything that had happened, absently playing with his fingers as she spoke. “I knew something wasn’t right,” she said, frustrated with herself, “but I ignored it. I so badly wanted to believe what she was saying.”

He ran his thumb soothingly over the back of her hand. “That’s understandable, Rach. You had no reason not to believe her.”

“But I did! I knew there was no way she could accept it that quickly. Nobody could.”

“Rachel-,”

She pinned him with a look. “Don’t take that tone of voice. I seem to remember a couple of weeks where you were like a bear with a sore head after you found out.”

He winced. “Sorry.”

She looked faintly guilty, caressing his jaw with the backs of her fingers for a moment. “Sweetheart, that wasn’t what I meant. I understand it, I do. It’s a big thing to comprehend. My point was, Melissa’s my sister- she still remembers me at seventeen, before. I should have known she wouldn’t be okay with it that quickly.” She looked troubled.

“She obviously wants to be though,” he pointed out quietly. “She never would have reached out in the first place if she didn’t.”

She looked up at him, and he saw a hint of vulnerability in her gaze. “You think?”

“I do.”

She sighed, leaning into him. “I hope so,” she murmured.


	10. Chapter 10

The week of October half term was always one that Rachel had liked. The first few weeks of the school year were their own kind of crazy, and the week was desperately needed by staff and pupils alike to recharge, especially the new ones who weren’t used to the demands of secondary school. This particular year, however, she had an extra reason to enjoy it- Eddie had more or less spent the entire holiday with her, the sole exception being the few times he ran home for a change of clothes. He’d even invited her along to his day with Michael and although she’d initially argued, Eddie had insisted and to her surprise she’d had fun, the little boy warming to her throughout the day so that by the time he and Eddie had left to drop him home, he had been chattering away to her quite happily.

It had been, she admitted, one of the first times she’d completely relaxed during a school holiday. Eddie refused to let her do any work, going so far as to hide her laptop bag. She hadn’t had a pyjama day since she’d been a child, but Eddie had somehow persuaded her. Another day, they’d driven to the coast, eating fish and chips on the freezing beach and on another they’d made pizza before playing along with gameshows on the tele.

She was happy. It had come as a bit of a surprise when she first realised one afternoon, but she really was, unreservedly so. Eddie had just grinned when she told him. “Well, I knew that,” he told her cheekily. “I was just waiting for you to catch up.” She kissed him to shut him up, the pair tumbling backwards onto the sofa. She ended up beneath him, smiling softly as he put all of his weight onto one arm in order to trail his fingers across her cheekbone. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Does this still scare you?”

She paused. “A little,” she admitted quietly. “These past few days… you fit into my life so well, Eddie, that at times it seems as if you’ve always been here. And I see the future, our future, and it’s so clear. And that scares me, just a bit. But it’s a good kind of scary.”

He was grinning wildly.

“What?” she questioned in a laugh.

“If I’d asked you that a month ago, you would never have been so honest.”

“Oh, shut it.” She drew him down into another kiss. She would never admit aloud he was right- he was enjoying this too much already- but she knew he had a point. Thankfully.

For the first time, possibly ever, when Monday morning rolled around, Rachel was genuinely disappointed. She fumbled to turn the alarm off, smiling faintly at the groan Eddie issued and slid back into her previous position against him for a moment, delighting in the way he curved around her automatically. “Are you awake?” she wondered. The lack of response suggested not, and she huffed out a laugh. “Eddie, I know you heard that alarm.”

He didn’t move a muscle. She rolled in his arms to face him, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Come on, sleeping beauty. If I have to get up, you do as well.”

Now, she received a groan. His arms tightened around her, causing her to yelp as she was pulled back against him. “Hush,” he mumbled. “Five more minutes.”

She laughed aloud now, brushing her lips against his jaw. “I know you, Eddie Lawson- five minutes will turn into ten, which will turn into thirty and then we’ll both be late.”

He didn’t open his eyes. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“Kind of, yes.”

“Damn.” Now, he deigned to look down at her, pouting dramatically. “But I’m comfortable, and you’re nice and warm.”

He tightened his arms to prove his point. “You’re not making this easy,” she told him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“That’s the idea…”

She lay where she was for another minute, but felt her eyes drifting closed again. She abruptly sat up, drawing a discontented noise from Eddie as she ran her hand through her hair. “I’m going to fall back to sleep if I stay here.”

He watched her climb out of bed and disappear to the bathroom, the urge to roll back over almost overwhelming. But he forced himself upright, knowing it wasn’t fair on her to expect her to get him out of bed like an errant teenager. By the time she had emerged, somehow showered, dressed and with her hair blow dried he’d managed to locate the change of clothes he’d brought with him and was sat on the end of the bed checking his messages. She looked impressed when she saw him, shooting him a teasing look. “You are up- I half thought I was going to have to splash water on you!”

“I’m not that bad!” he looked wounded, tossing his phone onto the bed and rising to slide his hands across her hips. “That said, I would much rather still be in bed with you.”

She leant into the kiss he offered, arms wrapping around his neck. “Me too,” she agreed quietly.

“What are you doing over Christmas?”

She looked startled at the abrupt question, then amused. “I have no idea. You realise it’s October?”

“What do you normally do?”

Rachel hesitated. Get drunk and pretend it was a normal day didn’t sound great, she thought to herself. “Not much. Maybe see some friends from uni in the run up… why?”

“How about we go away somewhere this year? Just the two of us?”

She began to smile. “Really? What about Michael?”

He shrugged. “Allison asked if she could take him to visit her parents in France for the whole holidays. I’m going to have him when they get back and then for a week in summer.” He looked sad for a moment, before his expression cleared. “So how about it? We could go somewhere quiet, secluded. Hot or cold, your choice.”

“Cold,” she said instantly. “Christmas in the heat always sounded a bit odd to me.”

“Somewhere cold it is,” he grinned. She stretched up to kiss him.

“It sounds perfect, Eddie.”

He wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling into her. “You, me, nowhere to be and nothing to do. I can’t wait.”

**W.R.**

Eddie’s words ran through his head again when, five hours later, he found himself holding back a screaming year ten girl while Tom blocked her equally loud boyfriend from lunging forward. If he were honest, he had no clue what they were arguing about, or why they were doing it in the corridors in the middle of fourth period. “I HATE YOU!” Without warning, the girl’s legs dropped from underneath her as she broke down sobbing, and Eddie found himself supporting her weight while Tom finally managed to drag the boy away, presumably to the cooler.

“I’ll take her,” Davina volunteered, stepping forward and he gladly handed the girl over.

“What was that about?” Rachel walked up, eyebrow raised in the direction the pair where headed in.

“Honestly? I have no idea.”

He shook his head disbelievingly, falling into step beside her as she laughed lightly. “And it’s not even lunchtime.”

“Rachel!”

Both turned at the shout from behind them and frowned, Eddie in irritation and anger, Rachel in surprise. “Melissa?”

The blonde practically skidded to a halt, reaching out to grasp Rachel’s arm, already babbling. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise he was there and I was just venting and Phillip didn’t know any better, and I should have explained everything to him but I hadn’t! And I tried to lie and brush it off but he knew anyway and I tried to explain and talk him out of it but he just wouldn’t calm down- he got angrier and angrier and when he started on at Phillip, he was afraid and blurted out the rest before I could stop him and he-,”

“MELISSA!” Wide-eyed and slightly astonished, yelling was the only way Rachel could think to get through to her, and her mouth shut with a snap. Rachel took a deep breath. “What in the world are you talking about? In words I understand, preferably.”

She swallowed thickly. “I was sort of venting to Phil, over the break…”

“About Rachel?” Eddie’s tone oozed disapproval.

She looked at him meekly. “More about the situation between the two of us?”

“Go on, Mel,” Rachel urged.

“Well, I was ranting at him, and mentioned you and the school and you being headteacher…” she trailed off, and Rachel raised an eyebrow.

“So…?”

“I didn’t realise dad was standing behind me,” she said quickly, wincing.

Eddie was confused, but one glance at Rachel revealed a horrified expression on her face. “Melissa!”

“I know! I’m sorry!” she looked vaguely desperate. “I had no idea he was even in the house- Phil hadn’t told me. I’m so sorry, Rachel.”

Her sister was rubbing her hands over her face, while behind her Eddie was hovering anxiously, unsure whether to reach out to her or not. “How much does he know exactly?” Rachel asked, lifting her head up.

“Enough to find you.”

She groaned again. “Oh Mel…”

“I’m really sorry. I thought I’d managed to talk him into leaving you alone, but Phillip messaged saying that dad had text him checking which school he goes to.”

Rachel looked up sharply. “Did he answer him?”

She looked surprised. “I… don’t know.”

“Well, that’s a lot of good!”

“I’m sorry!”

Rachel sighed. “I know.” she leant against the wall, hand running through her hair before looking at her sister. “I really wish you hadn’t.”

“I’m so sorry…”

She nodded, accepting the apology. “I’ll deal with it,” she sighed. “Don’t worry yourself.”

Melissa’s expression softened. “Now doesn’t that sound familiar?” Rachel gave her a weak smile, unable to muster up anything more. “Do you want me to stay? Just in case?”

She shook her head. “You have to get to work.”

“I don’t want to leave you to deal with it alone…”

“Eddie’ll be here. Go to work Mel. I’ll be fine.” She gave her a tight smile, and hurried away before her sister could argue. Eddie went to go after her, but Melissa called him back.

“Eddie… Look after her?”

He gave her a single nod, and practically jogged up to Rachel’s office. She was collapsed on the sofas, face hidden in her hands and she didn’t even look up as he entered, knowing it would be him. He sat next to her, touched her knee gently.

Without a word, she leant into him. “Talk to me?” he requested quietly. “You’ve never spoken about your father.”

There was a pause. “We didn’t have a good relationship,” she said softly. “We barely had any relationship.”

“How come?”

“He didn’t want children, especially daughters. But mum did. She died when Mel was a baby and dad married Trisha barely six months later, insisted we call her mum too. It stuck. He didn’t want to be a parent, resented that we even existed.”

“Is that what happened?” he asked carefully. “He didn’t take care of you?”

She snorted slightly. “He was an alcoholic. A perpetually unemployed labourer and mum was the same- addicted to drink, no job. There would be weeks, months even, when they’d both go sober and things would be better, for a bit. But one would always fall off the wagon and drag the other down too.”

“Your whole childhood?”

She shrugged. “It got worse as I got older. There was more good than bad when we were little, but by the time I was in secondary… I looked after Mel, the best I could. Made sure she ate, had clean clothes, did her homework. But as she got older, mum and dad would give her drink, and smokes and didn’t care if she skipped school so she thought she had the coolest parents in the world and hated that I tried ‘smother’ her, as she put it.”

“And you?” Eddie questioned. She flinched slightly, looking down at her hands.

“They used to call me ‘Miss high-and-mighty’. Hated that I was doing my A levels, told me I had ideas above my station, that I thought I was too good for my own family. I didn’t,” she defended, raising her head to look at him. “I just… wanted to get out.”

“You wanted an education,” he said softly, trailing a finger down her cheek. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

She caught hold of his hand, pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles before leaning back against the sofa and entwining their fingers. “There was this one evening, mum and dad were out of their minds on something so I went out, down to this park where everyone hung out. One of Mel’s friends told me she was off her face and had gone into the trees with her boyfriend- her twenty-year-old boyfriend.”

“How old was Melissa?”

“Fourteen,” she grimaced. “I went after them, pulled them apart and dragged Melissa home kicking and screaming- literally. She was furious. She told me that I’d embarrassed her in front of her friends and her boyfriend, that I always embarrassed her. That she hated me and hated that I was her sister, she wished I’d never been born, that I’d died alongside mum.” She looked at him, shrugged slightly. “There was more to it, especially about her boyfriend but that was the gist. I told her that she was an ungrateful brat, that she should be careful what she wished for. Didn’t quite mean it in the way it happened.” He looked confused. “I locked her in the house and went back out, met the girl who made me the offer that had me leaving for good a few days later,” she explained. “You know the rest.

“I made my own decisions, and I accept that. But my parents drove those decisions and I don’t care if they have been sober for over a decade- I can’t forgive what they did. And I don’t want to see them. Is that awful of me?” she glanced at him.

“No,” he shook his head, and finally gave into the urge to pull her into his arms. “I’ve said it before,” he mumbled, “but you are extraordinary.”

“I’m really not, Eddie.”

He pulled back to kiss her tenderly. “I disagree.”

She let herself forget that they were in the middle of a school day, that they were in an office where theoretically anyone could walk in, and simply curled into him. “I love you.”

He grinned, didn’t think he would ever stop when she said those words to him. “I love you too.”

But all too soon, reality broke through in the form of the lunch bell and the pair reluctantly left the office to put in an appearance in the canteen. Rachel picked at her sandwich, disengaged from the conversations around her and not even bothering to try the apple she’d picked up. She felt a nudge on her leg, looked up in surprise to see Eddie watching her; he looked pointedly at her sandwich and back at her. _Eat._

Her first instinct was to throw it at him. She didn’t need a caretaker, she was perfectly capable of looking after herself and deciding when to eat. But then… then she saw the pinched look on his face, the concern written in his eyes. She obediently raised a small piece to her mouth, chewing unenthusiastically and raised her eyebrows at him. _Satisfied?_

He gave a small smile, knowing exactly what had just gone on in her head, and turned back to his conversation with Matt. Rachel managed half the sandwich, the entire thing tasting like sawdust and settling heavily in her stomach until finally she pushed it away. As she did, everyone else was occupied with conversation- she used the opportunity to quietly slip from the table, throwing the remainder of the sandwich away as she left the canteen and made her way outside. The wind was chilling, the clouds grey and overcast although that wasn’t deterring the group of boys playing football on the playground. Shivering, she wrapped her arms around herself for added warmth as she leant against the wall and watched the kids. There were small groups hanging around, some huddled up in coats, others who didn’t seem to notice the cold and were wandering around without their blazers and a group all the way over the other side of the field that she suspected were surreptitiously smoking. By the time she’d walked over, they would have put out the butts and hidden the evidence, she knew, and so stayed where she was.

“Rach?”

“Do you have a tracking device on me or something?” she demanded, turning around to face Eddie. “It’s becoming ridiculous!”

He chuckled, shrugging off his coat. “I just know you.” He wrapped it around her shoulders and settled next to her, the thick material of his own blazer protecting him from the chilly brick. She didn’t argue, welcoming the warm material that enveloped her as well as the slight scent of aftershave that lingered. Their arms pressed together, close enough to feel but maintaining some propriety whilst they were at school.

“You don’t have to worry so much about me, you know.”

He snorted. “Sure.”

“Eddie, I’m serious,” she insisted with a slight laugh at his dry tone. “I feel like all you’ve done these past couple of months is pick up after me and deal with my disasters. You shouldn’t have to.”

“Rachel.” He had that tone, that one that meant he was deathly serious and without conscious decision she looked up at him, acutely aware when he slid his hand around hers. “We’re a team. It’s not a case of have to. I want to. You think I don’t know that I’m the only person you open up to?”

“I’m sor-,”

“Don’t you dare apologise!” he told her sternly. Her mouth snapped shut. “Sweetheart, I’m glad you talk to me. I’m glad you have that trust in me.”

She swallowed thickly at the emotion and awe in his tone. “I feel like… like all I do is take from you,” she confessed. “I swear, I never used to be this damsel in distress constantly who fell apart and always needed rescuing. But lately that’s all you seem to do- rescue me.”

He looked vaguely amused. “Rach, you’re literally the reason I have a relationship with my son. You barely knew me, and you fought on my behalf anyway.”

“That’s different-,”

“I have watched you stand in front of governors, investors and parents to fight for this school,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoke. “You’re the reason Bolton didn’t drop out, you literally broke the law and fought against the government to save Sameen Azizi. You stood on a stage with your head up and revealed your biggest secret to hundreds without breaking.” His voice softened, eyes boring into her as her breath caught. “And then you somehow found the strength to come back and face them all again. Rachel, you are the strongest person I have ever met. You’re not weak and you’re certainly not a damsel in distress.”

Swallowing back tears, she stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips to his, uncaring that they were surrounded by their students. “You really see me like that?”

“Yes,” he shrugged, as if that should have been obvious. At the other side of the playground, a group of girls were whispering and giggling as they stared at the pair after the sole redhead of the group swore she’d just seen them kiss. Hidden by their bodies, Rachel’s fingers tightened around his. “So, do you tell want to tell me why you’re out here?” Eddie continued. Rachel bit her lip.

“It’s silly.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“My parents,” she admitted. “I have no doubt my father at least will come. And I’m not ready to see him. Which I’m aware is absurd, twenty years later.”

“It’s not absurd, love. At best, he was neglectful towards you. He stole your childhood-,”

“And I’m a grown woman!” she exclaimed. “He shouldn’t still be able to-,” she cut herself off, dropping his hand to wrap her arms around herself, pulling his coat closer in the process.

“You’re right,” he agreed after a few beats. “You are a grown woman. A brilliant, brave, accomplished one. And more importantly, one who isn’t alone. And never will be.”

She ducked her head, closing her eyes. “You know what?” she said quietly. “I think you’re the extraordinary one around here.”

He smiled faintly, retaking her hand. “You’re not alone, Rach,” he repeated. “Whatever happens with your parents, whatever your father does, he won’t touch you, I swear.”

Finally, her eyes flicked up to meet his. “There are times, Eddie Lawson,” she said softly, “when I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He smiled at that. Rachel settled back against the wall, fingers tightening around his, hidden by the drape of his jacket. They stood in silence, Rachel worrying and Eddie contemplating. He let his gaze wander across the playground, saw the groups of children. “Do you think we end up making any sort of difference?” he asked suddenly. She raised an eyebrow.

“How do you mean?”

“These kids- realistically, how many of them are going to get out? We push them to get qualifications- any qualifications, sometimes- and try to keep them in line, but once they leave here… it doesn’t change anything, does it?”

She was silent for a few moments, considering. “I think it changes enough,” she disagreed slowly. “We might not be turning out doctors and lawyers, but this school does a lot of good. How many of our kids would be on drugs, on the streets or in prison if it weren’t for at least one of the teachers here?”

She had a point, he had to admit.

“We’re giving them a chance. They might not always take it, or make the most of it but it’s there for those who need it. And from someone who was never offered that chance- it’s a big thing.”

He looked at her curiously. “Do you think it would have made a difference? If you’d come to a school like this?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Probably.” She pondered for a moment, then shrugged. “Doesn’t matter now. All I can do it try to make sure no one here falls through the cracks that Mel and I did.”

The bell rang overhead, and grumbling teenagers began to gather their things. Eddie looked at her. “All _we_ can do,” he corrected, squeezing her hand and she smiled warmly at him, nodding.

“All we can do.”

** _Thank you so much beautreebean for commenting! And thanks to all for reading :) x_ **


	11. Chapter 11

Eddie’s words had relaxed Rachel to some extent, easing some of the near-hysteria she’d been working herself up to in her head. That didn’t mean that she was okay, however- she was on edge the entire afternoon and every raised voice, slamming door or even ringing phone had her jumping violently, heart racing. The final hour of school was excruciating, not to mention exhausting. Which meant that as soon as the last bell went, she was ready to leave as well. She shut down her laptop and gathered her things, heading down to Eddie’s classroom and smiling slightly when she found him buried in exam papers. “You mean teacher,” she teased, “giving a test the first day back!”

“I don’t know why I bothered,” he grouched. “All it did was prove to me I can’t teach them!”

She tutted, coming closer to look at the exams. “Don’t be silly. It can’t be that bad…”

He looked at her dryly. “Over half failed completely, and no one got above a C.”

“Oh.” She made a face. “Well, it’s not even November yet,” she comforted him. “There’s time.”

He harrumphed, glaring down at the papers. She had to resist the urge to giggle at the petulant expression on his face, instead ducking down to plant a kiss on his cheek. “You coming over tonight?”

He nodded. “Maybe it will distract me from this disaster.”

She suppressed another laugh, waiting as he collected his belongings together and flicked the lights off. “One day done- twenty-nine to go!” he sighed exaggeratedly, wrapping an arm around her as they walked.

“Is it really?”

He shrugged. “I have no idea,” he admitted. “It’s about six weeks isn’t it?”

“Yes. But I couldn’t tell you the exact days.”

“Let me find my phone and I definitely could.”

“And what sort of example does that set to the students, Mr Lawson?”

“That I’m on the same level as them in counting down to the next school holidays.”

This was delivered so dryly that she burst into laughter, pulling away from him as she pushed the door outside open. “Honestly Eddie. It’s only the first day back! How are you going to make it to Christmas?”

He smirked at her, pulling her closer with a hand on the small of her back. “I can think of a few ideas…”

Moments before their lips met, raised voices from nearby had each jerking back and looking up with a frown. “That’s Phillip…” Rachel recognised. They exchanged a concerned look for a split second, both turning in the direction of the voice. But before either could move, Phillip came stumbling backwards around the corner, attempting to block a man in front of him.

“-stay away from her!” his voice rang out, vaguely desperate and panicked. “You heard what mum said!”

“Boy, I swear to God-,”

Eddie didn’t even need to look at Rachel. She’d stiffened beside him, inhaling sharply and her reaction combined with Phillip’s behaviour told him exactly who this man was. The thought had just crossed his mind, when the man looked up and stopped dead when he caught sight of them.

Phillip turned to follow his gaze, a puzzled look on his face that quickly paled when he saw who was standing beside him. His eyes flicked between them, obviously uncertain on what to do as his grandfather recovered his senses first and walked forward, close enough to talk without raising his voice, eyes never leaving Rachel. “Amanda.”

For a long moment, Eddie wasn’t sure she was capable of answering. He could hear her breathing in shaky breaths, hitching every so often as she gazed at the man in front of her, panic in her eyes. He was just about to step between her and her father when her hand slid into his, and she spoke, voice quiet but steady. “My name is Rachel.”

Eddie felt his lips twitch. He had to fight to keep a sober face as the man scowled at her tone, especially when she seemingly disregarded him and turned slightly to face Phillip. “You should get going, Phil.”

He glanced between them, looking lost. “But-,”

“It’s okay,” she assured him quietly. “But you’re going to miss the bus if you don’t hurry. Off you go.”

He did as she said, glancing back at them with an almost frightened look before he stalked off, bag swinging over his shoulder. Rachel was still gripping Eddie’s hand, although he realised that it was hidden by the swing of her coat. She raised her eyes back to her father, taking a shaky breath. “What do you want?”

“You have to ask?” he questioned incredulously. “We thought you were dead, Amanda!”

Eddie thought that the flinch that produced was hidden well enough that only he noticed. Rachel raised her chin defiantly. “Since when would you care about that?”

Anger flashed across his face. “How dare you? I’m your father! Of course I care that you’re alive!”

“You never did before,” she pointed out calmly. “In fact, I distinctly remember a few times being told not to ever come home.”

To Eddie’s surprise, the man winced and seemed genuinely ashamed. “’Manda… the drink… you know what it did to me.”

“Which is precisely why I don’t want anything to do with you now.”

“I’m sober!” he told her quickly. “Your mum and me both, for over fifteen years. We’ve changed. It’s been twenty years…”

“And that’s supposed to make it all okay?” she dropped Eddie’s hand to cross her arms, anger entering her tone. “Do you even remember the times you lost it and screamed in my face? Or hit me? Or the one you threw me down the stairs?”

He shook his head. “That never happened!”

“Well, not for you- you were too far gone on whatever you’d taken to remember you even had children! But I do! I remember it all!” she spat, all fire and fury. “Like the time you locked Mel and I out the house in the middle of winter because you were too drunk to know where you’d put the key! Or when I had to barter with the neighbours for school uniform for us both? Or the multiple times I went hungry so Melissa could eat, because you’d spent all the money on booze!”

“I made mistakes!”

“Mistakes? Writing the wrong word when you’re tired is a mistake! Neglecting your children is a little more than that! No!” she spat, when he tried to argue back. “No, I’m not doing this.” She took a deep breath, visibly calming herself as she stepped backwards so that she brushed against Eddie, who was simply standing behind her, supportive but silent. “I know that Melissa has forgiven you, but I remember more than she does. Hell, I know more than she does, because I hid a lot from her to protect her. I won’t forgive you, and I certainly won’t play happy families with you. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Amanda, I’m your father…!”

But she shook her head. “You lost the right to that title a very long time ago,” she told him lowly. “Leave, now. If you come back I will have security throw you out and call the police.”

She spun on her heel, catching a hold of Eddie’s hand as she walked away, ignoring the calls of her birth name that rose up behind her. She was breathing so quickly Eddie worried she was going to hyperventilate- when she tried to head to her car, he instead tugged her over to his. “I’ll drive,” he said firmly, opening the passenger door for her. For a moment, she looked as if she was going to argue. But then her shoulders sagged, and she slid into the seat, leaving him to round the car to the other side. As he drove off, he was very aware of her father stood exactly where they’d left him, eyes tracking their movements until they rounded the corner and were out of sight. “Are you okay?”

Her hands were clenched, nails digging into her palms as she stared out the window. “I don’t know.” She glanced over to him, and a look of faint apology flashed across her face. “Sorry for practically dragging you away.”

He snorted. “That is the least of my concern.”

He received a glimmer of a smile for that, but it quickly fell away and she returned to staring out the window. He didn’t push it, completing the drive in silence. Once they’d reached her house, she disappeared quickly into the kitchen but he took his time, taking his shoes off and hanging up both their jackets before he followed her. She was stood at the counter, standing stock still and staring at the wine bottle in her hand.

“Rachel?”

“I almost never drink anything stronger,” she said quietly, gaze never shifting from the bottle. “I did a few times, in uni. Then one day I couldn’t remember getting home from a club and it scared the life out of me that I didn’t know what I’d done. If I’d acted like him. I’ve never been that drunk again.”

“You’re nothing like him,” he told her firmly, coming closer to the end of the counter island. “I know you, you never would.”

“How could you be so sure? He thought he never would when he was sober.”

He watched her grip tighten around the bottle, saw her arm tense and jerk slightly and on autopilot, lunged forward to grab it from her before she could throw it at the wall. She frowned but didn’t resist, allowing him to take it and place it behind him on the counter. She was trembling, he noticed, and led her into the living room where he grabbed a throw from the sofa to fold around her. “I want to wrap you up and never let go,” he admitted, “but I don’t want you to think I’m treating you like a child who can be soothed with a hug and a pat on the head.”

She let out a startled, teary laugh. “I don’t think you treat me like that,” she assured him and held out her hand, pulling him onto the sofa with her. Their legs ended up tanged together, her head resting on his shoulder as true to his word, he wrapped his arms around her tightly and silently vowed not to let go until she indicated she wanted him to.

They remained in silence for a long time, until Rachel was ready to talk. “I didn’t think I’d yell at him.”

“It sounded like you needed to say those things.”

She nodded her agreement, her fingers tapping against her thigh. “Never intended to do it quite so dramatically though.”

“Do you think he’ll do as you asked? Stay away?” he wondered, and she shook her head.

“I doubt it. He’s always been stubborn.”

He raised his eyebrows, looking at her pointedly. “Really?”

She dug her elbow in his ribs, but his joke had worked and the pinched look around her eyes eased somewhat. “Shut it, you.”

He dropped a kiss onto her hair, but when she said nothing else, he decided to push. “What’s going on in your head?”

“It’s stupid…”

“I’m sure it’s not.”

She shifted against him, teeth worrying her lip for a moment. “One part of me hopes he’ll stay away, that they’ll all just forget about me and leave me in peace. Let Amanda Fenshaw stay gone.”

“And the other part?” she didn’t reply, and he moved the both of them so he could see her expression. “Rachel?”

“The other part… the other part is a little girl desperately hoping her father doesn’t give up,” she admitted quietly, before scowling. “Which is ridiculous for a grown woman to feel.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” he disagreed, “he’s your father. Doesn’t matter how old you are.”

“It’s ridiculous because it’s impossible!” she said hotly. “You heard him- he won’t even apologise, let alone accept blame! Everything is the alcohol’s fault. My forgiveness absolves him, lets him pretend nothing ever happened! But it did happen, and I am not a child anymore!”

She had lurched to her feet, visibly agitated. And for a moment, he didn’t know how to make this better, didn’t know if he could until something fell into place for him and he realised what it was that she wasn’t saying. He came to stand in front of her, one hand on her elbow to stop her pacing while the other gently cupped her head. “I love you,” he told her sincerely and she stilled, her breath catching. “You, Rachel Mason, Amanda Fenshaw, you are not unlovable, or whatever else it is you’ve come to think of yourself.”

Her mouth dropped open. “How did you-?”

“I keep telling you- I know you.” He grinned at her, happy when she moved closer to rest her hands on his chest. “You aren’t your parents, Rach. You have the biggest heart- I’ve seen it. You don’t need anyone’s validation or approval and if your father can’t bring himself to ask forgiveness and love you, then that his fault. Not yours.” She buried her face in his chest and he held her, wondering how long she had been hiding this inside. 

Without warning she pulled back, reaching up to touch his jaw with something akin to desperation in her eyes. “You know I love you too, right?”

“Of course.” He kissed her fingers, crooked a smile at her.

“I mean it, Eddie,” she insisted, features serious. “I don’t want you to ever think…”

“Rachel, _I know_,” he assured her, and when he felt some of the tension ease out of her he ducked to head to kiss her gently. She melted into him, arms winding around his neck. He pulled away just enough to talk, lips so close they brushed as he spoke. “You know,” he murmured, quickly kissing her again between his words. “I think I should prove it to you.” He stole another, and while she was smiling, she was beginning to look rather dazed.

“Prove it?”

He smiled slyly, lips meeting hers once again before he tugged her from the room and upstairs.

**W.R.**

When she walked into her office the next morning, Rachel had a small smile playing across her lips, far more relaxed than she had been the evening before. At least, she was until she realised someone was sat outside waiting for her. “Melissa? This is getting to be a habit,” she commented lightly. “What are you doing here?

The blonde’s face darkened. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? Do you know how worried I’ve been? Phillip came home babbling about dad turning up and you making him leave and then you wouldn’t answer your damn phone! I’ve been calling you all night!”

“My phone?” she looked blank for a moment. “I don’t even know where it is,” she realised. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Melissa trailed after her into the office, dumping her bag on the floor as Rachel unloaded her laptop onto the desk. “So? What happened?”

“Not much.” Rachel waved her hand absently, digging through her bag in search of her phone. “He got irritated, I got angry, he got angry, I told him I’d call the police if he came back here again and left. Nothing too dramatic.”

“Sounds pretty dramatic to me,” Mel mumbled. Rachel suddenly paused her movements, looked up at her.

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Forgive them.”

Melissa stared at her for a moment, realised she was serious. “I… don’t know.” she looked at her oddly. “I just did. Why?”

Rachel sighed, leaning against the desk and looking over at her. She had hidden as much as she could from her little sister when they were younger, attempting to protect her from their reality. But Melissa wasn’t a child anymore. “I can’t,” she confessed. “All the things he did… and all he could do was blame the drink.”

“It was the drink,” Melissa pointed out.

Rachel shook her head. “He chose the drink.”

“It’s not that simple, Rach!” she protested, coming closer to perch next to her sister. “You know it isn’t.”

Rachel hesitated. “Mel… there are things you don’t know,” she admitted. “It’s more complicated than you think.”

“Tell me.”

Rachel gave her a startled look. “Mel…”

“I am not a child who needs protecting,” she reminded her sternly. “If you want me to understand, you have to explain.”

Rachel bit her lip for a moment, but she was right, she knew. And she would not jeopardise her fledgling relationship with her sister just to protect her parents’ secrets. “When… when we were younger, there were times- many times- when I hid things about mum and dad from you,” she confessed. Her sister frowned, but remained quiet. “When you were really young, I’d tell you they didn’t feel well or had headaches or were at work instead of letting you know they were drunk and passed out. And when you were too old for that to work, it was other things. I’d tell you we were going out for some invented reason, when in reality it was because they were so far gone it wasn’t safe to be around them. All the Christmas and birthday gifts… they were from me, not them. Or the times I’d tell you I’d eaten at lunchtime, or before you got home? I never had- I just didn’t want you to know we didn’t have enough food for us both to eat.”

She looked stunned. “So you gave it to me?” 

Rachel shrugged. “Of course.”

Melissa’s jaw was open. “Rach…”

“There was other stuff as well,” she continued hastily, uncomfortable with the look Melissa was giving her. “But my point is, it’s not as simple as you think.”

“I’m beginning to realise that.”

“There’s a part of me that’d like to, you know,” she said quietly. “Forgive, forget. Carry on and pretend it never happened. Be a daughter again. But…”

“That’s not you,” Mel finished knowingly. She shrugged slightly.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Mel shook her head. “Don’t be sorry be for being you. And don’t ever be sorry for protecting me.”

“You’re my kid sister- it’s my job.”

Melissa twisted to wrap an arm around her neck, pretending not to notice the way she stiffened. “Thank you,” she whispered against her. “For everything you did.”

It took a moment, but eventually she felt Rachel hug her back. It was tentative, but it was there. “Will you tell me?” she requested as she pulled back and received a quizzical look in return. “Everything I don’t know, that you protected me from,” she explained. “Will you tell me?”

Rachel eyed her warily. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“If you’ll tell me.”

She studied her, but saw no sign of deceit or hesitation and so nodded slowly. “Okay.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Twenty-six, seven, eight and twenty-nine plus three.” With a relieved look, Eddie counted the kids onto the waiting coach, plus himself, Tom and Davina, who were all going as well. At his count, they both climbed on and he cast one final look back at the school. He didn’t want to go, didn’t want to leave Rachel. But this trip had been planned for months and there was no one to take his place- Rachel herself seemed unaware of his reservations, preoccupied with the Kellys, Melissa and the possibility of one or both of her parents showing up. Which was half the reason he was hesitant about spending the entire day away from school at all. It was only a few hours, but this was Waterloo Road, he knew, and in the end it was only Tom poking his head back out to see where he was and urging him on that actually got him onto the coach so it could leave.

Unbeknownst to him, Rachel had watched the entire thing from her office window, amused, exasperated and a little in awe at the ridiculous man. She would be fine, she was sure, but it was sweet the way he worried.

“You ready?” Steph poked her head in, prompting her to grab a page of notes and hurry from the room towards the hall for assembly.

Assembly was followed by a meeting with a suspended year nine and his mother, and they’d barely left her office when her phone rang and she found herself on an unscheduled conference call with the LEA. Then it was a fight between a group of year eight girls, a potential broken arm in a PE lesson and the news from one of the history teachers that she’d be going on maternity leave two months earlier than she’d thought. Rachel barely managed to grab an apple for lunch before she dug into the paperwork that was now threatening to be late, fully intending not to move for several hours in an attempt to complete it.

She heard them before she saw them- voices from the outer office that had her stiffening, closing her eyes for a brief moment. She didn’t have time to do anything more than lift her head however, before the office door flew open to reveal her father standing there, her mother hovering behind him. She quirked an eyebrow, placing her pen down on the desk and leaning back. “Joyce.” Her voice cut across her assistant’s protests, silencing her for a moment. “Please call the police, inform them that we have members of the public on school grounds who are refusing to leave.”

“Amanda!” her mother protested, but she merely nodded to Joyce and the woman scurried to the phone while Rachel merely looked at her parents.

“If you leave now, they probably won’t arrest you.”

“Amanda, stop this,” her father ordered.

“Stop calling me that.”

He bristled, going red but her mother placed a hand on his arm. “Rachel,” she said instead, but Rachel didn’t give them the satisfaction of answering and remained silent, waiting patiently. “We just want to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want anything to do with you, either of you.”

“You talk to Melissa,” she pointed out and Rachel pinned her with an icy look.

“You never cared about the relationship between Melissa and I before. Kindly don’t start now.”

To her satisfaction, Trisha visibly flinched. “Aman- Rachel, please.”

“Please get out of my school.”

“Your school?” her father scoffed, and she felt her stomach clench. _Here we go_, she thought grimly, raising her chin to meet his eyes and rising from her chair so that she was no longer looking up at them. “Think you’re so high and mighty don’t you? The big headteacher in her office. Well, I know you, little girl- you ain’t shit. I know all about your past. Nothing but a cheap whor-,”

“Martin!”

Rachel managed to push her rising nausea down and merely tilted her head. But oddly enough, the hurt she felt was no more than that she’d had when Stuart Hordley had said something similar. Still watching them, she pondered that for a moment and had to fight to keep the bland expression on her face when she realised why. The words hurt, yes, they’d hurt anyone. But that was as far as it went.

A slow smile spread across her face. “You know what, _dad_? Maybe I am nothing but a cheap whore. But the only person I’ve hurt was myself- can you say the same?”

Her gaze pierced his, refusing to lower her head as that smile played across her lips. She wanted to laugh, exhilaration flooding through her but managed to restrain it while Trisha grabbed at her husband to stop him lunging forward. “Stop it, please!” she begged. “We didn’t come here to argue with you!”

“Why did you come?”

“Because you’re our daughter! We miss you! We love you!”

“Like hell you do!” she laughed. “Try again!”

Her father frowned. “Amanda-,”

“Don’t call me that!”

“We only want-,”

She slammed her hand onto her desk. “I don’t care!” they both stared, wide eyed at her. “I couldn’t care less what you want! There is nothing you could say or do that could make me want anything to do with you!”

Her words hung in the air between them.

“We’re your parents,” her father said quietly.

“No, you’re not. You lost that right a very long time ago.” They stared at each other, Rachel defiant and resolutely refusing to show that her heart was threatening to burst from her chest. “There was a time,” Rachel began quietly, “when all I wanted was for the two of you to remember I existed. But I grew up. And I’ve realised that what you did wasn’t my fault. I shouldn’t have had to sneak around the house to avoid being screamed at or stay out in the cold to avoid being hit. That was you.”

They both gaped at her, stunned into silence. But her voice only grew stronger and more confident as the truth of what she was saying settled within her, the fear and anxiety she had had before loosening as she spoke.

“I am not a child,” she continued, “and I’m not alone anymore. You can’t even accept that you were in the wrong, and I was so angry and hurt at that. But I realise now- whatever you think of me, of my past, it doesn’t matter. You don’t matter. Not anymore. The only thing I want from you is for you to leave.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

Rachel looked up in surprise at the voice from the doorway, was even more surprised to see her sister standing there. Her parents were too, judging by the faintly stunned looks on their faces.

“How dare you? I told you to leave her alone,” Melissa hissed, stalking into the room and glaring at her parents before shooting a faintly apologetic look at her sister. “Hi Rach.”

She had to fight a smile. “Hi Mel.”

“Get out, now,” Melissa ordered, angling herself so that it was clear she was on Rachel’s side. Their mother had tears in her eyes, tugging on her husband’s arm. “Let’s go.”

He pulled away, looking at Rachel with an unreadable expression. “That man the other day, the one next to you. Is that the one Melissa mentioned? Your deputy?”

The sudden change in topic had her blinking in confusion. “What? Why?”

“Was that him?” he insisted. She hesitated for a long moment, unable to work out why he wanted to know.

“Yes.”

“Mel said he’s a good man.”

Melissa scowled. “Shouldn’t have said anything,” she grumbled under her breath. Then, louder, “Dad, would you leave it?”

Rachel didn’t want to discuss Eddie, didn’t want to reveal any more of her life than she had to. But something in her father’s expression stopped her from snapping at him, and she found herself quietly answering before she’d even realised that she was going to. “He’s the best man I’ve ever known.”

He studied her for a moment, but she still couldn’t understand his expression even as he gave a sharp nod. “I’m proud of you, Amanda.”

Her jaw hit the floor. Without another word, he turned on his heel and strode out, her mother casting her one final look before scurrying after him. Numbly, she practically fell into her chair, knuckles white as she gripped the edge of the desk. “Bastard,” she muttered. Melissa looked as shocked as she felt.

“What was that?”

“I… have no idea.”

They looked at each other, and Rachel’s expression softened into a smile. “Thanks, Mel.”

The blonde leant over, swiftly kissed her cheek. “I’m going to make sure they actually leave. See you Saturday?”

She nodded in confirmation. “Saturday.”

And then she was alone, back in the same position she’d been in minutes earlier only this time, she no longer felt as if someone had placed the weight of the world on her shoulders.

**W.R.**

Several hours later and she was lost in paperwork, only vaguely aware that the final bell had rung and the school had fallen quiet as she juggled budgets and progress reports. So she didn’t hear the rapid footsteps that approached her office, was only aware there was someone else there when her door was flung open.

“Eddie!” She pressed a hand to her chest, leaning back slightly. “You scared me!”

He looked sheepish. “Sorry. I saw Joyce in the car park, she said your parents had been here?” She nodded as she rose from her chair, coming around the desk to meet him. “Are you o- mhm!”

She’d kissed him, arms coming around his neck as his hands landed on her waist, a moment passing before he’d caught up and responded to her. When she finally pulled back, she grinned at his mildly bemused look. “What was that for?” he questioned.

She shrugged slightly. “I love you.”

He looked at her in mild bemusement, studying her intently. “I love you too.” When Joyce had told him what had happened, he’d been expecting to walk in and find her upset, or at the very least riled up. But she seemed... fine?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She tilted her head at him, dislodging a section of hair so that it fell over her face. He tucked it back, still eyeing her.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

He didn’t look convinced. “Really?”

She laughed lightly, hands clasping behind his neck. “Really,” she assured him. “I actually think seeing them was good for me. A sort of… not closure, but acceptance?”

He still looked unconvinced. “What happened?”

“My dad called me a whore-,”

“WHAT?”

He’d stiffened, anger flashing across his face but she merely tightened her grip, keeping him where he was. “And I didn’t care,” she continued quickly. He stilled, visibly confused.

“What?”

“I didn’t care,” she repeated. “They were stood in front of me, and I didn’t care what they thought of me. If I’m a whore, a slut, it didn’t matter- they didn’t matter.”

He winced at her words, a small scowl crossing his face. “You’re not.”

She pressed a quick kiss to his lips in thanks. “There will always be a part of me that wishes I’d had parents who loved me,” she admitted, “properly, I mean, not just as part of a twelve-step programme. But I was afraid that when I was faced with them both, I’d turn into that desperate little girl again who didn’t know which version of her parents she was going to get and would have done anything for them to just remember she was there. But I didn’t. I was looking at them and I realised I just didn’t care. They don’t have any hold over me anymore. The only person whose opinion I care about is yours.”

She smiled, gently cupping his cheek in her hand and his own came up to cover it. “You already know my opinion.”

“Yes, I do.” She kissed him again, smiling into it and he still wasn’t sure he entirely understood but he was glad of her clear delight and simply held her tightly, grinning at the way her eyes were lit up.

**W.R.**

Before they’d even managed to take their shoes off that evening when they’d gotten back to Rachel’s house that evening, Melissa was on the phone, worried about Rachel and keen to relay how their father had gone for a walk and had yet to return, while their mother had broken down in kitchen and barely moved all afternoon. Rachel didn’t care.

And as they spoke, Rachel reassuring her sister that she was alright, she realised that Melissa’s reaction to her past no longer stung quite as much as it had. Their conversation segued into Melissa’s workday, then Phillip’s new interest in gaming and somehow over an hour had passed before they hung up the phone, and when he no longer heard her voice Eddie went looking for Rachel, finding her sat cross-legged on the sofa with some cooking programme she wasn’t watching playing to itself on the tv. She looked up as he walked in and leant over to drop a kiss onto her hair. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

She looked faintly amused. “I really am. I thought I was supposed to be the worrier in this relationship?”

“Sorry.”

She shifted so that she was facing him, fingers sliding over his wrist. “Don’t be,” she told him seriously. “I like it.”

“You like making me worry?”

She gave him a sharp poke at his jibe. “I like that I’m important enough for you to worry over,” she explained. His joking gaze softened, his fingers trailing over her jawline.

“Not many people have worried about you in your life, have they?”

She captured his fingers, pressing them against her lips in lieu of answering. “I realised something just now,” she murmured. “If Melissa and my parents had shown up a year ago, I’d have reacted very differently. I don’t think I would have said a word against them, no matter what I was feeling.”

“You’ve been through a lot.”

“I’ve changed a lot. And that’s mostly because of you.” She leant forward, brushed their lips together before leaning her forehead against his. “Thank you.”

His hand tangled in her hair, keeping it from falling forward. “I haven’t done anything but stand by you.”

She smiled softly. “Exactly.”

**W.R.**

And so everything carried on. Rachel didn’t know what would happen with her relationship with Melissa- they were on their way to becoming sisters again, she thought, but she wasn’t sure if they’d ever be as close as they once were. She was hopeful, though, that at the very least their relationship was more honest now. No more secrets. Meanwhile Phillip seemed intent on pretending nothing had changed, which was fair enough, even if it did sting a bit. And Waterloo Road… well, that would never change, she thought in amusement.

She was stood staring out of the window of her office, watching as her students poured out of the school and hurried home, away from the overcast skies and threatening clouds. She saw Bolton and Paul jostle each other as they practically fell out of the gates, laughed at by Maxine and Janeece who walked by with their arms linked. She spotted a year seven- Annie- who had wanted to leave school two weeks ago and now laughed as she skipped hand in hand with another girl. And then there was Phillip, who was almost smiling as he walked out with his bag slung over his shoulder.

Arms wrapped around her from behind, and she stiffened for only a second before relaxing, her own smile settling over her face as she leant back, head tilting onto Eddie’s shoulder. “You’ve got to stop making me jump like that.”

“But it’s so much fun.” His lips captured hers, the angle awkward but no less welcome. Her hand came up to caress him gently as she settled back against him, eyes automatically drifting back to the window. His gaze followed hers, chin resting on her head. “Everyone get off okay?”

“Not even a fight.”

“Hallelujah.”

She laughed lightly, arms resting over his. “Don’t get too excited. I can’t imagine it lasting.”

She felt his lips press against her hair. “Right now, I couldn’t care less,” he murmured. Without warning, she turned in his arms and wrapped herself around him, eyes closing as she buried herself against him.

It took him only a moment to respond, tightening his arms. “What’s this for?”

“Does it have to be for anything?”

He pretended to think for a minute. “I guess not.”

Her eyes rolled, but she grinned against his chest despite herself, contentment washing through her. “I love you.”

She drew back to look at him just in time to see the dopey grin on his face. “I love you too.” His lips met hers, gently at first but just nipping at her lip as he drew away, restraining himself from more due to their location. Her smirk told him she knew exactly what he’d done, her eyes darkening almost imperceptibly.

“Are you staying over tonight?”

His hands rested lightly on her hips, one fingers playing with the hem of her blouse. “I need to go back to mine first, pick up some clean clothes and sort the post.” He almost missed the slight pout she got rid of almost immediately, and chuckled. “I have to go home sometime, darling.”

She stilled, and bit her lip as she stared at him for a moment. “Maybe… maybe home could be somewhere else?”

His heart stopped, before taking off at double speed. “What do you mean?” he asked carefully.

“I mean… you could move in?”

She peeked up at him nervously, teeth almost biting through her lip. He was staring at her, but she couldn’t read his expression and her stomach flipped. He was studying her, barely moving a muscle. “Are you sure, Rachel?”

She nodded.

“You can’t change it,” he reminded her, and she rolled her eyes.

“I wouldn’t want to.” Her arms slid around his neck, standing on her toes to do so. “You basically live at mine already. It would just be making it official.”

“Are you sure?” he repeated, and she smiled.

“More than.”

A beat passed, then two. And then a slow grin spread across his face. “Okay,” he agreed. She laughed, kissed him fiercely before he pulled her into a tight hug. The universe was laughing, she thought, that she was standing afterhours in her office in a rundown school with rain drizzling outside, and she had never been happier.

_Finis._


End file.
